Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

criticisms

22 replies

Flute56 · 22/07/2023 18:59

mu froemd pf pver 40 years has recently mentioned to me about three people we know who have told her I am odd. This has now given me a complex because I am thinking everyone thinks I am odd but if my friend had not told me of the tree that told her I am odd then I would have no idea. My friend has never told me that she thinks I am odd

I am trying to work out why she felt the need to tel me.

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 22/07/2023 19:08

How did it come up that she told you?

Did she just blurt it out? Or was it relevant to a quirk you have and were talking about e.g if the conversation was about how you sleep bolt upright in a dining chair wearing a wedding dress and she said "Gemma, Sophie and Emma think you're dead odd for doing that" then I don't think she's out of order for saying it.

However, if she just came out with it and you are not doing anything objectively odd and talking about it all the time, then she shouldn't have mentioned it.

tescocreditcard · 22/07/2023 19:12

Wait until your all together and then say "(my friend) says that you all tell her i'm odd, is that true?

Flute56 · 22/07/2023 19:18

tescocreditcard · 22/07/2023 19:12

Wait until your all together and then say "(my friend) says that you all tell her i'm odd, is that true?

I would not do that. My friend just came out with it and three people she said thinks the same about me so I wonder how many other people think the same. . One of the three people was someone I used to knwo and we were together at an event and my I was saying to my friend that it was nice to see this other person again and she replied, she told me she thought you were odd

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 22/07/2023 19:21

I presume you asked her "What? Why did she say that then? What was I doing?"

Did you ask her that and if so, what did she say?

TurnerP · 22/07/2023 19:22

Reasons for telling you:

She felt protective towards you and felt you should know?

She felt threatened that you were getting on well with others and would potentially see more of them than her?.

She likes to put people down? (is this a habit of hers?)

Flute56 · 22/07/2023 19:22

To be honest if someone told me that someone we both knew was odd, I would not dream of telling the person and saying to them oh so and so said you were odd.

I would not be so rund and cruel because what would it achieve it would only make me look like a total bitch and if the other person was of a nervous type which I am not it could cause serious mental health issues.

OP posts:
TurnerP · 22/07/2023 19:24

Flute56 · 22/07/2023 19:22

To be honest if someone told me that someone we both knew was odd, I would not dream of telling the person and saying to them oh so and so said you were odd.

I would not be so rund and cruel because what would it achieve it would only make me look like a total bitch and if the other person was of a nervous type which I am not it could cause serious mental health issues.

Is your friend as kind and thoughtful as you are

Flute56 · 22/07/2023 19:46

Dacadactyl · 22/07/2023 19:21

I presume you asked her "What? Why did she say that then? What was I doing?"

Did you ask her that and if so, what did she say?

no I did not ask her but I will

OP posts:
Flute56 · 22/07/2023 19:49

The thing is though, if I ask her why it looks like I am bothered about it which to some extent is true or I would not be posting here for advice. My friend said just forget about it but its hard to forget about when she has now told me that THREE people have told her I am odd

OP posts:
TurnerP · 22/07/2023 19:53

Why are they all going to this one friend to tell her that you are "odd", this sounds odd to me. Maybe she is fishing for bitchy comments and starts by asking them if they think you are odd, or she is making it up

Watchkeys · 22/07/2023 20:44

Flute56 · 22/07/2023 19:49

The thing is though, if I ask her why it looks like I am bothered about it which to some extent is true or I would not be posting here for advice. My friend said just forget about it but its hard to forget about when she has now told me that THREE people have told her I am odd

Why do you care about how you come across? Are you trying to make a good impression? Can you not just be yourself around her? She doesn't sound like much of a friend.

Tangelablue · 22/07/2023 21:37

I think your friend doesn't want you to have other friends. Why would they be saying you're odd? How does that come up in conversation unless your friend is the one saying it?

Flute56 · 22/07/2023 22:35

It does seem a bit far fetched that 3 individuals have said I am odd. I do have other friends because my friend and I mix in different circles. I am not going to waste any more time on this because I know what and who I am and if my friend was any good she would have said to these people zzz is my friend and you have no right to say this about her. Besides the people she claims have said I am odd are not people I ever see anyway, they were just people I met on the particular occasion I was at and they were there. I have my own regular set of friend who are kind and loyal

OP posts:
TurnerP · 22/07/2023 22:42

Yes stay away from the fake frenemy types and don't dwell on this any longer

mrandmrsrobinson · 23/07/2023 09:01

And it could be she made it up and the other three never said anything! There's only one way to find out.

perfectcolourfound · 23/07/2023 14:31

I think she is lying to you. Her reason for that may be that she is jealous of yor other friendships so she wanted a) to hurt you and b) to drive a wedge between you and your other friends whilst meaning you are more dependent on her.

It could be an outright lie, or it could be that she's fished for such comments. I have a relative who does this regularly. For example, she thinks someone has spent too much on their house (yes she has lots of opinions). She will say to someone else 'I think Annie spent a lot on her house didn't she?' The third party, Billy, will either agree half-heartedly because they're being polite and want the conversation to move on, or they might say 'I suppose she did, but if she can afford it, good luck to her'. My relative will then quote that back to other people: 'Billy thinks Annie spent a lot on her house, do you think £xxx is a lot?' And so on. At some point, she will report back to Annie what 'everyone' thinks. Or she might not. I've been Annie in the situation, and Billy, and have seen her in action just as an onlooker.

Whether or not these people said you are 'odd' (and I think it's unlikely that 3 separate people would all say that to one person, someone they think is your friend at that) she didn't have to repeat it. Yet she seemed keen to tell you.

So, I'd be 90% certain she made it up or created the situation for it to seem as though they said it. I would steer clear of her. Don't let it affect your friendship with the other people. And maybe one day, when you're with one of them, tell them what she said.

Flute56 · 23/07/2023 16:34

Flute56 · 22/07/2023 19:46

no I did not ask her but I will

I asked her and her response was I just thought I would tell you. I then said it is very hurtful to say such things and I would not say anything like that to you if someone told me you were odd. She replied with ok no sorry or anything. We have dropped the matter and have chatted nicely about other things and I hae let it go. I did say I never want to hear anything else from you about anyone else calling me odd and then she said most people find you odd.

I was going to respond by saying you dont know the people I know so how can you say most people but I just could not be bothered

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 23/07/2023 17:04

I did say I never want to hear anything else from you about anyone else calling me odd and then she said most people find you odd

Are you going to continue to be friends with someone so rude?

Pinkbonbon · 23/07/2023 17:25

She sounds like a dick.

But there's nothing wrong with being odd anyway.
Its better than boring or nasty. You know, like shit stirring 'friends'.

Loopylalalou · 23/07/2023 17:28

I’ve known all my adult life that people think I’m a bit odd, in a very normal existence way. For years I’ve not worried about it as TBH I’d rather be odd than crashingly boring.

Flute56 · 24/07/2023 00:48

She has now done a complete u turn and has told me of two people who said I am a lovely person

oh well. Forgive and forget and move on

OP posts:
TurnerP · 24/07/2023 00:51

She seems to like causing drama and upset
Take any future comments with a pinch of salt, don't believe everything she says

New posts on this thread. Refresh page