How to deal with someone like this

[caspery]

Every-time I say something positive in work, like I'm going on holiday - she'll say ugh I don't like insert holiday destination. Or, if I'm going to get a pet, she doesn't like pets or if I went out to eat, she'll say that she doesn't like food like that.

It's really starting to grate on me.

If I'm busy then she's always busier .

I've tried being friendly but the relationship never goes any further. She's a total cow.

'Good job you weren't invited then isn't it' then walk off.

I had a friend like this. I just stopped telling her things because I ended up feeling frustrated after a conversation with her - everything was a competition for her. The friendship eventually fizzled out.
I would suggest you start the same - stop telling her things.

Perfect response

'I thought that might be the case, Geraldine.'

Every time. Broken record. She'll get sick of it quite fast, and shut her cake-hole.

Agree with them:

"I knew X Place wouldn't be your sort of thing, we have such different tastes don't we?"

And say it as if having the same taste/style as her would be fucking awful.

If she asks you to explain, just say "I'm really excited about going to X, because of Y&Z, but as you've just stated, that's not really your thing."

I kill then with kindness or bluntness Or acts of PA @caspery

examples:

oh - you don’t seem to have much joy in your life!

is there anything/anywhere you actually do like?

you don’t like something. I’m surprised/colour me shocked.

shall we try/practice being positive today?

mid story/comment - stop. Look at her. Don’t worry Sandra. I know you won’t like this….

That's a good response, it will confuse her.

Things like: you're missing out! Etc.

You don't have to be friendly with her though @caspery, she sounds like an awkward person, so keep it work polite.

The world would be a dull place if we all only liked the same things.

"Oh......... that's nice."

Jesus Geraldine, is there anything you do like?

Ooohhh if I were to go to Tenerife you'd be off to Elenenerife Geraldine.

Why is everything a competition to you Geraldine?

Life would be boring if we all liked the same things Geraldine.

Lucky you're not invited then Geraldine!

PA answers annoy the hell out of me.
That colleague isn’t nice but a PA answer just puts you at the same level than her. Which isn’t good (and you’re more likely to then make her annoyed and hard to work with rather than seeing her changing her attitude). It’s still aggressive! And will be felt like that by her and her reaction will reflect the aggressivity….

Just stop making small talk or kill her with kindness.
Ime kindness has surprising effect and makes everything much easier for everyone. It’s likely to make the work side easier too (eg ‘im much busier than you p’ competition)

may be she was bullied at some point and no one was interested in her opinion and she is not used to know how to state opinion without being negative

I personally do not do small talk in my job. If someone says something, i will make sweet face, kind eyes and say something encouraging.

The simplest response would be 'Oh?' and then to carry on.

“Yeah, thought you’d say that.” And laugh.

Every time.

I like all these suggestions. 😁

My solution has been to draw up a 'bingo card' of predicted responses which I mentally cross off as they arise.

These are much better and very much simpler. Brilliant

'Good job it's me going and not you, then.' But a vague 'oh, really' will probably do the job better - use an offhanded tone and it implies you can't be bothered with a response. If she uses this reply all the time it's probably habit and she doesn't even realise she does it.