Domestic abuse trauma - coercive control

[Lilly0909]

Hi all
Do you ever get over domestic abuse? I feel like it haunts me
Me and my ex broke up 3 years ago. We met when I was 18 and he was 24 and he was my first boyfriend, we were together for 2.5 years.
He never hit me, but it was clear how much he wanted to. He smashed everything around me, ripped doors off hinges, smashed phones, bottles, tvs, intimidated me, locked me in rooms, followed me, wrote off my car, damaged my belongings, threatened my co-workers, monitored my phone, hid my car keys, told me what I could wear, separated me from friends and family and would drunk scream at me for hours whilst I cried. I could go on. He monitored and controlled every part of my life. I could do nothing and he would find something to be angry at. If anyone has seen 'Maid' on Netflix, it is exactly like this, I was terrified of him.
With the help of the police I managed to get away but I still can't get over it and I don't know what to do. I want to talk about it but does this help? Whenever I've done therapy it just makes me feel worse
I've tried writing but it all just makes me cry it's too much. I feel like it's defining me and the more time goes on the more I realise just HOW bad it was, almost like I was in denial before. I feel like I'm only having a reaction to it now, instead of when it was fresh. Is this normal? Would love to hear from people with similar experience

My dad was abusive towards my mother but much much worse then on Maid (which in my opinion was quite mild) he once held a crossbow to our heads, and would regularly beat us, never gave us money or put a roof over our heads.
I don’t think you ever get over it, I think it becomes a part of who you are just like any trauma. I think that a decent relationship can help heal it though. Although many women end up with similar men, so you have to be very picky and cautious with future partners and watch out for red flags and don’t ever be afraid of leaving and being alone even if there’s one tiny red flag.

Therapy is really really hard work. You have to confront the fear and all the feelings you had and have. It's not easy at all. But it really is the best way of moving on and putting it in the past.

And