i used to drink a bottle or 2 every night, you don't get a hangover, after a while it's normal. I was not nasty and really it didn't affect my behaviour towards my partner. I had drunk since I was 14 and would be what you would call high functioning, got my education, had a child ( i cut down when pregnant) but during the last 2 years i always wanted to cut down, but felt i needed it. Now here comes the irony, I met guy 7 years ago and he started to use crack cocaine, and same as yours got really nasty and paranoid, wasted our money, we had a business and I had to do everythng cos he just opted out of life, again a very bright and special guy but wasting his life. I started to seek coundselling and do a lot of work on myself, it is really hard to lay down boundaries against unacceptable behaviour, especially of you are scared to be alone, but I really worked with my counsellor, it was through a drugs charity and I'm sure you can get one through alcohol counselling. Anyway I lost 5 stone, I stopped drinking, he continued to use but cut down and has now been clean for 2 months but is still going through depression and is in a very vulnerable situation to use again. I am 8 months pregnant, he is not happy about it ... It really boils down to what YOU will allow. Nothing to do with him, cos you can't stop him and it's not your fault that he drinks, but you can decide what you want to live with and you don't have to put up with it. We have spent time apart, he travelled round India for 6 months and I used the time to get my self clean and lose weight. I developed as a person and he had to keep up or lose me. It's not easy but it's worth it. It may seem as if you can't lose him but it might be good for both of you. Right now he has no incentive to stop, you are still there doing it all, if he hits rock bottom, there's only one way to go