Ghosted? Never used OLD before

[SugarGal]

Went away for the weekend in March to big city and downloaded Tinder. Matched with someone the day I was leaving. He messaged and said he would like to chat. Moved to WhatsApp and we were chatting on there for a few months. Then I went back to same city in June and met up; we had a regular date in the botanic gardens then met up later for drinks then he came back to mine. Carried on messaging, then I went to visit him this weekend, staying in a hotel. We spent almost 48 hrs together. He was messaging me afterwards till Tuesday, now he has just stopped. I don't know what's happening! I would usually message him in the morning and he would always reply. But when I messaged him on Tuesday AM he just said he's not slept well and his brain wasn't working properly. Yesterday I messaged and he didn't reply at all even though he had read them. Today I messaged and again nothing so far, he hasn't even opened them. At what point do I just cut my losses and block? I'm really cut up about it, more than I would like to admit.

I wouldn't block him, personally - I'd be curious to see if he ever came up with an excuse, and I wouldn't want him to think he'd got to me.
But yes, I'd assume he was too cowardly to end it.
Is the city far off? Seeing someone once a month isn't for everyone.

Tbh I would think you were messaging too much op.

If I only see someone every few months, I don't want to talk every day.

Just leave it up to him to text you for a bit.

I'd be worried there was 'love bombing' going on from one side or the other having to message so often and now suddenly feeling ghosted just because it's been 2 days.

He’s not as into you as you are to him.

Stop messaging. You've made your interest clear and there is nothing wrong with that. He hasn't taken the opportunity to respond in kind so he's not into you enough to go further with.

Also this gives you opportunity to reassess things as obviously if this is someone you can only see once a month or so then he will be likely be viewing it as casual. No matter how much you text. So if you're developing feelings then this probably isn't the relationship for you. He's maybe sussed that himself. Tbf, maybe he wants more too and so has come to the same conclusion, that it's not wise to pursue it further.

Stop messaging but don’t delete. If he replies in a couple of days then take it from there but if not then yes you’ve been ghosted.

Sadly online made people lose their manners and most would rather just disappear than be honest if they’re not feeling it

You've been messaging for months, and all he has done is not messaged for a day?!

Also, what's your status with this guy? If you're simply "WhatsApp friends" that have met up a few times, then you've become far too invested?

Have you discussed what your relationship status and where you see things heading between you? Have you kissed / had sex? Have you agreed to be exclusive despite the infrequent meetings?

If you've done none of these things, then it's hardly surprising he's backing off...

Sorry wasn't clear. We have met up twice for 2 weekends when I was visiting where he lived. The first weekend we met up I was there for a gig and we went for drinks. Then the next day we had a daytime date at the botanical gardens.
Then met up a few hours later after my gig had finished and my friends went out separately and I met him and we had drinks then ended up having sex. Then after that we were texting more and I went down to visit him with friends but they did their own thing this weekend. And we had drinks, had sex on the 1st night. The second day we had another daytime date and spent the rest of the weekend together.

He did reply in the end but just to say he'd not been well. It's a total loss of manners; no 'sorry for the late reply' just I'm feeling better now. Not sure how to respond!

I think that I have definitely developed feelings 🙄 I was looking for a kind of FWB situation but have come to a point where I really, really like him. He did mention previously the fact that we live a few hours' away was something he is worried about. I would be open to trying to have a LDR but not sure if he would. He said he is quite lonely a lot of the time.

Yeah it's a good few hours' drive away from me, annoyingly. He has admitted not wanting to end relationships so to "let the other side down gently" he had been self-destructive. I challenged him on this and said that it's not really letting the other person down gently if you act like such a pig that they feel they have no choice but to split up with you! I also think that him telling me this is a huge red flag 😬

Makes him sound quite immature, huh. I'd show him how it's done politely - "Hi, glad to hear you are feeling better. I was hoping you'd get in touch as I've been wanting to discuss something - I've been thinking about where this might be going and I can't see it working in the long run. It's been fun but I wasn't really planning on anything long-distance or this casual in the long term. As you expressed your own doubts last time too, you'll probably agree it's best if we call it a day. Wish you all the best in future :)"

I don't think you're looking for the same thing but either way neither of you are being clear on what you want. I'd wait a bit for the hurt to settle and just message or chat and be clear on what YOU'D like. It doesn't have to be difficult and it's no biggie if it's not where he's at, just put your energy elsewhere and move on. If he does want to continue just say what you need. No loss at all on talking and knowing where you both stand but sitationships are a bloody nightmare and best left to teenagers with endless mental energy

Personally I’d just reply ‘sorry to hear that hope you’re feeling better’ and leave it at that.

He's gearing you up to be his booty call.
I'd throw this one back unless you are happy for him to mess with your head.

I can't be his booty call because he lives too far away 😬
But I think you're right, unfortunately.