Am i wrong for not wanting to have a relationship with my mom?

[leilall]

I feel really hurt my mom doesn't bother with me or my son anymore.
Background story, I didn't particularly get on with my mom during my teenage years. I also wasn't the easiest kid. But I left home at 19. And basically had to struggle alone to actually make something of my life.

Anyway fast forward I'm now in my late 20s, and I had my first baby last year. Our bond really grew while I was pregnant. And when my son was a newborn, she did come over quiet often and I felt her support.

However I feel the novelty has now warn off. This year she's seen my son maybe 4 times. 3 of which I have gone to her. She has never babysat my son (his 16M). Which I'm fine with, his my child. But I'm really hurt by the lack of effort.
I also feel like when she has a man in her life, I'm no longer a priority or my child.
And that really hurts. I make suggestions about visiting her. And basically tells me it's not a good time.

So question is, am I wrong to cut ties with her completely, if the lack of effort with particularly with my son is upsetting me?

She probably senses your desire to dump her and is protecting herself.

Hi @leilall sorry you're going through this with your Mum.
Tbh i wouldn't cut ties completely. Now i'm a Mum too i've realised god it's hard work and it has made me appreciate my Mum.
Your Mum is entitled to have a life of her own hun. Just keep the relationship on good terms and see her when you can xx

I can understand why you wish your relationship was closer. It does hurt if a parent isn't, or doesn't appear to be, very interested.

From what you say, your Mum isn't actively being unpleasant, she's just not interested. So maybe for now it is ok to just let yourself focus on your son and leave her to it. You don't have to 'fall out' you can just leave things for now.

The most important thing is you do it differently with your son. If that gets difficult, speak to a counsellor. But hopefully your relationship with your son will be much more positive and close, that's what really matters now.