Body confidence in new relationship

[LeEagle17]

I’ve been separated from my ex-husband for 3 years. We were together for 10. I haven’t had sex in 5 years, haven’t kissed anyone passionately and like I meant it in over 10 years….yes, I know 🙄
I’ve got a date this weekend with a guy who seems very nice and genuine. I’m keen to pop my cherry again, as it were, but I am so paranoid about my mum bod that it’s seriously affecting my confidence. The main bit is my tummy…you know, the really cute fat apron that’s all wrinkly and hangs down?
So, my question is this…what do guys really think about a woman who is slightly overweight and has a tummy like this?! My date’s ex-wife was very slim and petite and tbh I wish I hadn’t Facebook snooped 🤪
I’m usually very confident but being in an emotionally abusive relationship, alongside not looking after myself for years, has taken its toll.
Advice welcome. Thank you :-) x

If he likes you, it won’t matter a jot.

Everyone has their preferences in what they find attractive , what they can compromise on etc

You can’t really generalise to what ‘men ‘ think about this as it will vary

When I met new partner after abusive ex I worried about this massively. Turns out the right man doesn't care. Partner tells me all the time how much he likes how I look, how he finds me attractive. I moan about the wobbly bits and he will reassure me how sexy I am. Such a confidence boost and I say that as a middle aged size 14 with less than toned stomach

My girlfriend is very body conscious, took over two months of dating to sleep together, she insisted on lights off and nothing except straight sex (no oral etc).
her body is great, yes she has a small belly on her but I’m not bothered in the slightest.
it’s been 6 months and she finally let me give her oral but still nothing the other way.( she’s more worried about me looking rather that the act itself)

i don’t give her any pressure but the important thing for me is gaining her trust. Sex is very important to me in a relationship and helps build a solid trust in one another.

Just go for it, whats the worse that can happen? If it doesn’t work out there are plenty more men out there.

If you get naked are his dangling bits going to look attractive? I doubt it....
If he is lucky enough to get you into bed he will appreciate your body.

I could have written this post myself. Got far too comfortable in my last relationship, got a mum tum.

Starting seeing someone new. Will deffo sleep with him for the first time next week, we've booked a night away in a Hotel. I'm dreading it. He's really into his fitness and has the most amazing body 😕

The right one will accept you for it, the wrong one will destroy you for it, i've experienced both sides of the coin. Work out your red flags in other areas of his personality before you sleep with him would be my advice

It’s so hard not to feel that pressure to look ‘perfect’ since we’re force fed images of supposed perfection, but not even the models actually look like that.

I once briefly dated a guy who negged me over my stretch marks and ‘mum tum’ but I think that was more to do with his own low self esteem. Nobody else has ever mentioned it except the handful of guys who’ve actively liked my belly, one who wouldn’t leave it alone. I think men find confidence sexy so learning to love your body despite your perceived imperfections is the way to go.

My partner hadn’t had sex in 12 years after coming out of an abusive relationship. She worried a lot about her body image but it made absolutely no difference to me… she was, and is, absolutely gorgeous inside and out and I never once thought about how she looked - other than to think how lucky I was to have found her.

Hopefully, your man will be the same!

One lady I dated who felt similar about her sz14 figure, regularly wore basques, thus solving her body image issues because it held everything in place (!) and it was actually great for me because I do love a lady in lingerie....
Fortunately, in time the basques became less frequent, she ended a sz 12 and I'd always fancied the pants off her anyway!

Sadly, distance eventually killed the relationship.

I think women never realise that men have seen far more of womens bodies up close and personal than we have! Most likely he's seen other women naked who have bodies like yours and loved them!

Exactly that, my partner was really shy about her 50+ year old beautiful body. She didn't for one minute consider that I felt much the same about mine.
We are now really happy about our bodies as we just love each other imperfections and all.
Try having a shower together if you have the facility's. We do this 4 or 5 times a week and find washing each other is so sensual and natural that it's strengthened our bond & leads to fantastic sex.