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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No relationship with dad

7 replies

Theamofm · 19/07/2023 08:13

Hi, my dad has always been an aggressive person, who verbally and physically abused my mum. She stayed with him even though I begged her to leave when I was in my teens. I left home as soon as I could cos she wouldn't, she stayed. I feel awkward around my dad, we have nothing to talk about. After over 30 years they're divorced cos he had an affair and he's still with that woman now, 3 years on. He talks about himself and how amazing his new life is and all the plans he's making. I really do not care, actually it offends me given the life he gave me nd mum growing up! I don't have any time for him at all. He only gets in touch to see his grandchild and actually if it wasn't for her I don't think I would see him at all. He hasn't seen her for 3 months now though and to be honest that isn't good enough. If he reallt cared he would see her more given he lives 10 minutes away. He will say I haven't reached out and turn it back on me cos that's how he rolls. How do I tell a man, who can't be reasoned with how I really feel?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 19/07/2023 08:20

Why are you seeing him anyway? He wasn’t kind to you so why should he see his grandchild? Don’t bother with him after how he was to your mum

PeacefulPottering · 17/10/2023 00:15

I really feel for you x I had an abusive Dad , not physically but emotional , it kills you x

PeacefulPottering · 17/10/2023 00:24

I feel I want contact because I want to make sense of my upbringing.
I want to have contact with my Dad, I want to heal i suppose .

WorkSmarter · 17/10/2023 19:06

I think you should go no contact as a punishment for his horrible parenting, to side with your mum and to potentially protect your daughter. You don't need an a hole in your life and you get to control it now!! 😘

Pinkbonbon · 17/10/2023 22:01

Don't let you child near someone like him op.

Do you really think just because you share blood with him he should be anywhere near a child?

He ruined your childhood.
Keep your baby safe.

You kid isn't a reason to keep him around. She's the main reason he shouldn't be around.

Tuffmama · 17/10/2023 23:33

PeacefulPottering · 17/10/2023 00:15

I really feel for you x I had an abusive Dad , not physically but emotional , it kills you x

I had an emotional and mentally abusive father as well. I got married moved countries, he came to my wedding and that’s the last time I saw him. Called him twice to tell him I’m pregnant. The 3rd time I was pregnant I didn’t bother.

i don’t hate him, but with distance and my family I don’t have time or energy to waste on him.

Tuffmama · 17/10/2023 23:34

Pinkbonbon · 17/10/2023 22:01

Don't let you child near someone like him op.

Do you really think just because you share blood with him he should be anywhere near a child?

He ruined your childhood.
Keep your baby safe.

You kid isn't a reason to keep him around. She's the main reason he shouldn't be around.

Exactly that! He’s blood but it’s toxic blood. Leave him out of your world, that’s where he belongs.

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