Experiences of OLD with men 40-50s age bracket.

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I am 40 and have just started OLD. I'm happy to meet men up until mid 50s. I've matched with some attractive men, who have good chat but after about a week of chatting I realise the majority of attractive men are on there for attention and an ego boost! It all feels a bit mid life crisis!

I'm in the process of arranging a date with a guy, he told me he wasn't talking to anyone else and was looking forward to when we meet. Great, I thought!

We've talked and messaged a lot this past week. Then I see he's added some topless shots to his profile only yesterday I assume! I know he's allowed to chat with whoever he wants, but why tell me differently? (I didn't ask he just offered the information). We've been chatting a lot and I just find it bizarre at that age you'd feign connection or invest so much time when you're not interested. I just feel like an ego massager now, haha!

What's everyone else's' experience of dating in the 40-50s age group?

Dreadful tbh.
Most of them are after sex or a chat only. There are very few who have taken care of themselves but still expect to date a woman 10-15 years younger.
You're better off looking in real life and dumping the apps.

I'm in my 20s and my sons father is nearly 55. I find older men more mature and less materialistic. However most on dating apps are after women a lot younger than them and just after a hookup ime, that's why I don't use dating apps nomore

Pretty awful to be honest.

Apps have given many men who previously would not have had many options the idea that there’s an endless supply of younger women just dying to shag them so they see women their own age as either beneath them or as place holders until the Victoria’s Secret model swipes right on them.

A lot are on there only for sex and flattery despite saying they want a relationship and have no intention of ever actually committing or giving up their single hood.

The experience of using apps in my mid 30s versus my mid 40s has been like night and day - younger men are a much better for an honest dating experience.

I date men early 30sto early 40s I think at your age you might want to date similar. I do get some men over that age requirement occasionally but they tend to be a bit creepy and I do get the idea they see themselves as a couple of decades younger than they are despite looking every bit their age.

I did online dating in my late 30s/early 40s. It was awful tbh. I think any woman who meets someone online is either very lucky or has low/mediocre standards! Based on my experience.

The reality is that men in their 40s and 50s are either a) long time single and there for a reason - they're incapable of forging good quality relationships with women or b) just out of a long term relationship and are not looking for another just yet - they rather fancy themselves as catching up on all the sex with a variety of (younger) women they missed out on whist raising a family.

I've dated a few men who I met in real life who said that they'd had similar experiences with women whilst online dating too.

One of my friends (in his late 50s) is looking for a relationship but says most of the women (50s) he's met up with are either 'party girls' who've spent decades being married and raising children and now just want to have fun or are comfortable homebodies who seem older than their years.

I think online dating is a terrible way to meet someone. I've been in a relationship for nearly 2 years with a man who I met in real life through a hobby a few years ago. He'd previously tried online dating (unsuccessfully).

My son is 24. He's met up with a few women from online dating. Had a few short term relationships but he realised that the women he connects with the best are women who he meets in real life who are out there living their lives rather than the ones who are sat at home every night on dating apps.

I had a few dates from OLD before meeting my current partner that way, who is in his early 40s. My experience was mixed, think there is a lot of sifting to do and luck involved. You need a thick skin and strong boundaries.

For example one guy I was talking to had seemed normal and then wanted to move chat to WhatsApp. He then started telling me he’d had a dream about me - you can guess what kind of dream. I had a couple of guys before we’d even met tell me they weren’t into sex, more into cuddles - then came out with some hugely sexual stuff so that was clearly a line or tactic they’d learnt somewhere.

And I agree that there’s a lot of ropey looking men thinking 28/30 year olds are just dying to fling their knickers at a pot bellied, baggy faced 50 year old who hasn’t moisturised or cut his toe nails since Y2K was a hot topic.

I’m new to old world too. I’m similar age and have a smaller age bracket. I’m strict about what I want to be honest and make sure I only communicate with those that are willing to tell me more about themselves. Do you move onto what’s app? I think that’s normally telling if they are actually interested. Also if they leave me hanging too long after messaging it puts me off as I’m not going to make all the effort. I haven’t come across to many ego boosts. A few after one thing. Maybe lower your age gap a bit late 30’s- mid 40’s??

I’m over 50 and OLD at my age is absolutely grim.

Im sure there are a few decent men out there my are but in my experience, the vast majority have very little in the way of communication skills and those who can hold a conversation want to talk sex within a few days and/or send photos of their naked bits.

Maybe the bare chest pics were for your benefit? Just trying to be positive for you!

I also think men and women do online dating for different reasons generally.

Men do it because they think there is an endless supply of much younger women desperate to have sex with them. If they ask for it, it will come.

Women do it because they think it will be a safer and easier way to meet someone and feel less comfortable doing things like going to pubs alone or have children at home to consider.

It seems to be a pretty soulless way to meet someone to me, if I'm honest. I'd far rather wait to meet someone in real life who'd I'd got to know first or at least liked the look of across a room and got chatting to. Which is, essentially, what I did.

If there's nothing at home stopping you from getting out and meeting people, I'd do that instead. You're still going to meet dickheads, but there will be decent men too. I think good quality men tend to stay away from online dating in the main. At least once they've realised it's crap!

I'm a little bit older than the age range discussed here but the view from the male side of the bridge is little better

We don't have to deal with sexual fantasists and creeps. Nor do we get people sending "fanny pics"

There are a lot of scammers out there though - my target age range is 48-58 and I keep getting messages from 35 year olds. They seem to be financial scammers or escorts.

I have had a few decent dates but it's grim

A couple of my male friends have said this. The scammers have rapped into the idea that manyen will be flattered by the attentions of a much younger woman and capitalise on that.

I was never contacted by a scammer but listening to my male friends, it happens a lot to them!

@Over40Overdating 😆

It’s slim pickings out there.

I became single when I separated in my late 40s and met a lot of men and had a couple of year long relationships. Now ten years later omg it’s desperate with some men still on there from ten years ago and I don’t think they have had a lot of luck in that time.

Anyway I have given up in my late 50s as the calibre is just not out there!

If you are only 40 I would say you would still have plenty of options and you could easily meet someone if you live in a city (I do) but I wouldn’t leave it till later in life if you really do want a partner to settle down with.

I've tried OLD in my late 30s, 40s and 50s... all dire. What a sad and sorry bunch. Last time I looked, some of the men I saw online in my late 30s are still there. With the same picture!

Meeting in real life is the way to go. But I've been single for over a decade now and no amount of hobbies, gym classes or friends of friends has produced a man who takes care of his appearance and isn't looking for a housekeeper.

I'll stay single thanks!

I was 42 when I met 46yo DH. We're now 55 and 59 and married for 7 years.