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Original poster

Is he gay?

20 replies

Isitweird3 · 19/07/2023 00:20

Don’t want to drip feed so will try to be as concise as poss… DP and I have been together for 18 months, everything’s been perfect, he’s considerate, kind, sex is out of this world but…. Something strange happened tonight and I’m laying in bed playing it out in my mind so please give me your thoughts on this.
DP and I were getting a bit freaky, which isn’t strange for us in general, but I decided (joking) to suggest using my dildo on him. DP is generally a man’s man, spends a lot of time at the pub, is on the darts team, constantly playing golf.., you know, men’s stuff 😫 so I expected him to push me away when I suggested this, but he willingly turned over and seemed really into it. To be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure what to do so I just laughed off the situation and carried on from where we were. But now I’m playing memories in my mind…. He’s always quite keen on mmf porn, but says he does it for me because I should get off on two men (it’s not really my thing, but I do it to keep him happy)… do you think he’s gay? What should I do? I’ve invested so much time in this relationship and adapted my life to suit his… my heart hurts 💔 please help

OP posts:
Thistlelass · 19/07/2023 00:30

Well you made the syggestion! I doubt he is gay but you perhaps need to have a think about why you wanted to do that with him.

CallieQ · 19/07/2023 00:30

Is he gay.... no

You are way overthinking this

Unicorn2023 · 19/07/2023 00:34

@Isitweird3 I am wondering why you would suggest that even as a joke?

SwordToFlamethrower · 19/07/2023 00:58

Why would you do something that you aren't into, just to keep him happy?

A relationship that isn't honest is doomed to fail.

You're lying to him and so it is no wonder you think he is keeping secrets.

You're the one with the problem op. Also it isn't gay to enjoy a prostate orgasm, what planet are you on??

Original poster
Isitweird3 · 19/07/2023 01:11

I feel attacked, I thought this was a supportive community

OP posts:
ditalini · 19/07/2023 01:21

No, you feel disagreed with. Just hide the thread if you're not getting what you want from it.

(No, I don't think your dp is gay, I think he has a prostate and is curious or has tried it on himself and liked it.)

Barleysugar86 · 19/07/2023 01:29

I think everyone is somewhere on a spectrum from straight to gay to be honest. I'm straight but I have my girl crush moments.

For what it's worth though I doubt this has anything to do with being gay and more to do with curiosity- obviously gay men enjoy anal, it has pleasurable sensations for a man. It doesn't sound all that different to the men who like a finger up there (thankfully I've not come across one but I have heard of them!).

Cakeandcoffee93 · 19/07/2023 01:30

Lol you asked him and he said sure! Wish my fella would.
makes me laugh

Seryse · 19/07/2023 01:35

You weren't attacked, you simply got responses with opinions you didn't like, there's a massive difference. No one was nasty.

Just because he might like a bit of bum fun doesn't necessarily mean he's gay, as someone else said prostate orgasms are a thing. If you don't like doing it, then don't. You did suggest it, albeit in a jokey manner which seems to have backfired, just tell him its not for you. Perhaps a wee chat with dp is in order if you're really feeling off about it? It sounds like everything else is great so a wee chat might just out your mind at ease?

Wheretfaremykeysthistime · 19/07/2023 06:36

You said yourself it's not out of the ordinary for you to "get a bit freaky", and this is quite standard stuff - lots of men enjoy this. Doesn't suggest he's gay at all.
You, his female partner who he is clearly attracted to, suggested something involving his ass during sex and he was into the idea - that just sounds like you've got yourself a partner without many inhibitions (which I'd guess is part of why you're having "out of this world" sex with him?)

Don't overthink it!

BrokenButNotFinished · 19/07/2023 07:11

Also: gay men don’t all sashay in wearing glitter and stereotypes.

I don’t think he’s gay. But maybe he does get a frisson from watching men make out… because human sexuality is a lively spectrum.

I’m not sure that’s the problem here.

Vegetus · 19/07/2023 07:13

The most obvious troll I've seen in a while.

determinedtomakethiswork · 19/07/2023 07:50

Isitweird3 · 19/07/2023 01:11

I feel attacked, I thought this was a supportive community

Oh, what a shame, did you think we would all share experiences?

MaggieBsBoat · 19/07/2023 07:52

My very straight(?) husband loves pegging. Why not? I very much doubt your fella is gay.

Ilikejamtarts · 19/07/2023 07:59

I doubt he is gay but I guess panic must have set in for you and sent your thoughts running everywhere 😬 if I were you I'd bring it up In convo with him to put your mind at rest...'you know the other night when I suggested using my dildo on you? you genuinely seemed up for giving it a go and it got me thinking, is this something you're interested in/have done before?' Then take the convo from there based off his answer. Don't sit panicking yourself when a quick convo could settle this for you 🙂

Maddy70 · 19/07/2023 08:17

He's not gay. He's open to sex with you... A female

Whataretheodds · 19/07/2023 08:22

You're not gay if you like prostate orgasms or having your bum played with or being pegged.

You're gay if you are sexually attracted To the same sex.

It's possible he's bi or bicurious based on the MMF porn, or it may just be part of a fantasy. I would say don't you just ask him what he likes about it, but after your response this morning he may not feel so comfortable telling you, and given your ridiculous stereotypes DP is generally a man’s man, spends a lot of time at the pub, is on the darts team, constantly playing golf.., you know, men’s stuff 😫 you need to catch yourself on.

Playing golf and darts and being a man's man, whatever that is, doesn't make you straight.

KarrieKoKo · 19/07/2023 17:36

I don’t think he’s gay. You suggested it, and if you guys have a bomb sex life already with little inhibitions, maybe he thought yes why not! Even if he watches that sort of porn, I don’t think it would make him gay. It probably doesn’t even make him bi. Like he could be but the only real way to know is ask

Anthillveggie · 19/07/2023 17:57

Isitweird3 · 19/07/2023 01:11

I feel attacked, I thought this was a supportive community

You mean you wanted everyone to agree with you? Or were you just looking for people to talk about sex?

Mari9999 · 19/07/2023 18:11

@Isitweird3

Given your reaction to his response, were you attempting to suggest that he might be gay? There were only 2_possible answers to your question, and seemingly for you one of the possible answers would to you might mean that he was gay.

Could a heterosexual man not have said yes?Could a bisexual man not have said yes?

Why would your thoughts go to gay?

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