Is this a relationship deal breaker

[Gingemermaid]

My long term boyfriend and I split up for 9 months in which time he started seeing a much younger woman at work. After a few months he finished the relationship and we started seeing each other again.

He still works with her which I accept, but during the time they were together he introduced her to a hobby he has with his mates and she turns up on social occasions to which I am not invited ( as he thinks it would create bad feeling for his mates himself and her) .

I am not ok with this and have asked him to do something to change the situation which he is refusing to do.

I don’t think there is anything going on romantically, however it doesn’t sit right with me especially as they have exchanged private messages outside of the group what’s app which he initiated and offered her a lift “with the boys”

Should I put my foot down and offer an ultimatum or suck it up and hope she gets bored of hanging out with a group of old men ?

Bin.
My ex H was like this the whole way through our 17 year relationship, minimised my feelings, made me feel like I was jealous and overreacting. I wasn't.
He left me for a woman who was on the scene from the very start.
Please get rid. This is who he is.

You broke up for a reason. From what you've said here there reason is still there. This is a non starter and will not be mentally good for you long term, he's at best a flirt at worst a cheater.

Oh op. PLEASE raise your bar. Spend a decent amount of time on your own and learn why you would rather accept crap men like this over being single. Being single is really lovely, I promise you - it's social conditioning that makes us incorrectly think we need a man, any man will do, to be happy.

I’ve asked to go along but my partner says it would create an uncomfortable atmosphere.

it makes me anxious when I know thee is an event coming up especially if it’s an overnight / three day thing.

Here is your big red flag.
Why exactly would it be uncomfortable? And for whom exactly? Her? Him?

If she is uncomfortable, she can do another hobby. Why does her comfort trump yours? I mean didn't he introduce her to this hobby? Why shouldn't you also join in? They are not together anymore so whats the big deal exactly?

I think i'd be getting rid of him tbh. They may have split up, but the whole spiel about making it uncomfortable if you are there too. Nah. Off he fucks.

Update. It’s finished . Since found out that for three months last year when we had started seeing one another again she was still living with him and he’d lied to me.
he still wasn’t prepared to give her up and blamed me for being insecure and checking up on him or “ruining” times together by bringing her up .

no trust left
he didn’t prioritise me or my children and didn’t want to commit. I was a little more than a “friend” with benefits , except you wouldn’t treat a friend like that!

blocked
unfriended

now just have to face life at 50 worth two kids under the age of 15 I have to start again :-(

thanks for all the replies guys wish me luck 🍀

Good luck OP, you are worth so much more and he is the one in the wrong mo matter how hard he tries to pin anything on you.
X

I honestly don't know why people get back together after splitting up. The reasons for the split haven't changed, and the person you split from won't have changed either.

@Gingemermaid you deserve better than this low life prick. Just bin him already and live a happier, better life without him..

God, just ignore my last and well done you. X

He didn’t deserve you. Best of luck, OP. You are free of a man who would always bring you down.