Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Hanging up the phone !

20 replies

Marcy43 · 18/07/2023 18:39

My husband is on holiday at the moment I’ll be joining him at the end of the week.
He has an old client (my husbands in building business) who phones /texts him as her husband has been having yet another affair.
Problem is this woman’s husbands is my husbands boss and the whole thing makes me feel weird.
My husband has been a shoulder to cry on for this woman.
Anyway he told me tonight that she has texted him and phoned him whilst he’s on holiday telling him to phone her if he wants to find out the latest developments!!!!
Anyway I told my husband it was weird and he replies in fact you piss me off whether I phone you or not and hung up!!!! I’m not the one talking to someone about the state of their marriage.
This woman is the mother of a friend of ours and I asked him to have a word with my husband about keeping out of it which he did as he wouldn’t listen to me !
Husband has not phoned or texted her since then apparently. Thoughts ?

OP posts:
NoodleNuts · 18/07/2023 22:00

I'm a bit confused. So your husband's boss is being unfaithful to his wife, and she keeps calling/texting your husband to discuss her marital issues.
You called your husband to say that you though this was strange and he hung up on you. You then asked husbands boss's/wife's son to have a word with your husband, which he did. Is that right?

Why didn't husband's bosses/wife's son speak to his dad/mum? Why are you referring to this woman as an old client (when she is his bosses wife) and her son as a friend of yours who just happens to be the son of the woman who is married to your husbands boss?

It all sounds very odd to me but utimately, I think this woman is after your husband. Do you believe that he has not texted or called her since?

Original poster
Marcy43 · 18/07/2023 22:05

My husband met them as he did some work in their home.
He knows the family well but for some reason he ignored my concerns about this woman opening up to him. Hence the reason I spoke to our mutual friend, this woman’s son.

OP posts:
Hopingforagreatescape · 18/07/2023 22:07

As far as I can work out, this woman needs to stop involving your husband in her marriage, and you need to stop involving this woman's son in yours!

toochesterdraws · 18/07/2023 22:08

Your husband needs to think about the high likelihood of losing his job if his boss finds out what's going on.

Original poster
Marcy43 · 18/07/2023 22:11

The reason I got the son involved ( who also works for the company) was to talk sense into my husband as I was scared his boss would find out that my husband was playing confidant. I was trying to avoid my husband getting into trouble he just wouldn’t listen to me

OP posts:
LadyJ2023 · 18/07/2023 22:19

Wrong so wrong to involve the son way out of order!!!! This is between you and hubby and hubby and woman to sort

Original poster
Marcy43 · 18/07/2023 22:23

Maybe, but I didn’t start this ! Bosses wife is way out of order involving my husband and my husband needs to put up boundaries and not involve himself.

OP posts:
Jongleterre · 18/07/2023 22:34

It's a bit confusing.

Hanging up the phone !
Original poster
Marcy43 · 18/07/2023 22:39

😂

OP posts:
goingcrazy142904 · 19/07/2023 17:54

Are you annoyed because of the risk to his job or because a woman is opening up to him?

Original poster
Marcy43 · 19/07/2023 17:58

The risk to his job but also the fact he’s allowing this to happen

OP posts:
PrincessofWellies · 19/07/2023 18:00

goingcrazy142904 · 19/07/2023 17:54

Are you annoyed because of the risk to his job or because a woman is opening up to him?

I would imagine op is pissed off that her husband is being inappropriately used to prop up the woman's marriage by being her shoulder to cry on. And that this will impact his job and is already impacting his marriage.

How are your boundaries op, because for me he would have crossed mine with the hanging the phone up on me?

Fidgety31 · 19/07/2023 18:11

So much drama ! I expect your husband is en young the attention . Whether I’m he takes it any further will soon be seen !

Original poster
Marcy43 · 19/07/2023 18:17

PrincessofWellies · 19/07/2023 18:00

I would imagine op is pissed off that her husband is being inappropriately used to prop up the woman's marriage by being her shoulder to cry on. And that this will impact his job and is already impacting his marriage.

How are your boundaries op, because for me he would have crossed mine with the hanging the phone up on me?

Show quote history

I explained via text how inappropriate it was and that he wouldn’t like it if I behaved like that. He replied bla bla bla !!!!!

OP posts:
Frogger8395 · 19/07/2023 18:19

Sounds like it’s these two having the affair.

Original poster
Marcy43 · 19/07/2023 18:21

pretty sure he’s not having an affair but he’s so useless at putting up boundaries I don’t understand why as it’s having a negative impact on our relationship

OP posts:
Original poster
Marcy43 · 19/07/2023 18:22

He always wants to be involved in everything

OP posts:
Stratocumulus · 19/07/2023 18:55

Gosh, what a soap opera.

Seems your DH wants to be more loyal to her than he is to you, his wife.

Id be absolutely furious to be shut down like he is doing to you for the sake of the relationship he’s having with that woman.

I’d be giving him an ultimatum. I think it’s a cover story for an inappropriate relationship he’s having with her. Make what you like of that but I think there’s more to this than you know about OP.

ironorchids · 19/07/2023 20:21

Your husband needs a new job.

MsDogLady · 19/07/2023 22:39

Marcy, your H’s close relationship and confidant status with his boss’ wife is entirely inappropriate.

The contempt he is showing you via his dismissal of your concern, hostile language, hanging up, and mean-spirited ‘bla bla bla’ is troubling and unacceptable. He is creating distance between you and damaging your relationship — all for the sake of pleasing this woman.

It sounds like they’ve developed a KISA/Damsel dynamic. The attention can be immensely flattering and can lead to inappropriate emotional intimacy, reliance, and ego validation. Many emotional affairs begin this way.

H is playing with fire by jeopardizing both his marriage and his job. He’s prioritizing this woman while treating you with utter disdain. At this point, it’s highly doubtful that their interaction is mainly related to her H’s infidelity. They’re lapping up the mutual ego boosts. I’d be telling him that you’re not prepared to tolerate this blatant disrespect, and would show him the door if he won’t shut it down.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page