Marriage

[LAMLC2011]

Has anyone gone through not fancying their dp/dh? And also finding little things about him annoying.
I have another thread on here from a few months ago saying basically I was thinking of leaving dh due to my crush on a friend (I'm absolutely not doing that but do need help).
To the outside world we have the perfect marriage, we do get on great as friends! (/drinking buddies!). I used to fancy him loads but as years have gone on, I just don't (together nearly 20yrs). He is an amazing father to our child (totally hands on - as a father should be!), he is also (mostly) very thoughtful, trustworthy and generous. I want to feel like I used to and I'm trying to think of things to help.
I have told him he needs to lose weight (during a heart to heart discussion, not in a rude way obviously! - he asked what he could do) but any efforts he makes don't last.
I sound shallow I know, but I wish he'd care about his appearance.
I'm wondering if I should tell him I fancy someone else just to jolt him into action? (Probably won't as I don't want to hurt him).
Sorry for rambling.

I wouldn't tell him you fancy someone else but I'd be properly blunt that he's put on weight and you're struggling to find him attractive.

I would have absolutely no issues if my DH said that to me (aside from health issues, when they're not caused by being fat in the first place)

You should be able to be honest and talk about this sort of stuff.

I do not fancy my DH at all, it we’ve been married 30 years ! And he irritates me sooo much

But I assume you have your reasons to stay? My reasons to stay far outweigh my issue to be honest and I want to fix stuff.
Just struggling at the moment I think. He's a good good man but I'm getting irritated by him - which stems from the not fancying him I think.

I had a crush on another man. We would meet for a drink after work. I used to fantasise about him when I was in bed at night after DH had fallen asleep. I was very quiet so DH would not know. I felt guilty.
In the end I decided to take it no further. I had a good relationship with DH and everything was great. It was stupid to throw it away even though DH at times irritated me. DH had put on weight whereas the guy i had been seeing was slim. I persuaded DH to join me in the gym. That motivated him to lose weight!

I think most people are in this situation. I fancy the life out of my DH, can honestly say I fancy him as much now as I did when we first met. I don’t think it’s the making or breaking of a marriage usually but it certainly helps. Does he still fancy you OP?

Emotionalmama I'm exactly the same. Fancy dh more than before tbh. Having baby helped that one. Don't understand relationships where couples don't fancy each other. Look deep down and ask yourself would I want to be without dh

I’ve been with mine for 22 years since we were 14 I fancy him loads more then I did back then. Perhaps I’m lucky. I think it’s more common to fall out of lust though.

I'm pretty sure he still fancies me, always touchy feely, says I'm sexy and wants sex etc (we still have enough sex, more than in past years actually). I still enjoy the sex but I am guilty of fantasising so..