New relationship after so long

[Notanotherdeadend]

So for context I'm 33 mother of 2, dd6 and ds3. I was with their dad for 10 years but have been separated for almost 2 years. I consider my self to be reasonably pit together and responsible. House is kept nice, bills paid, kids are thriving and have what they need.
I've recently met someone new and we have been seeing each other on my child free weekends for the last 4 months, things are going well and I really like him. He is funny, caring, considerate and we generally get on well but he is 30 and doesn't really have any responsibility or real life experience. He has a part time job in the family business and lives in a 7 bed house, owned by his family where him and 6 others rent a room each.
I'm not really sure what I'm asking but does this sound like the start of possible disaster or could he evolve into family life? We have spoken about my children and the fact that if we progress then he will be introduced and he has expressed his desire to have a a child /children in future but I'm just a bit sceptical as the kids dad lived at home when we met and he never really grew up. Any thoughts or similar experiences? Thanks all

There is not much if any real chance of this man developing more as an adult, the word enmeshed springs to mind re his part (note not full) time job and living in a house his family own. He is probably also quite happy as he is. Who are the other six people also, siblings?.

You are both at very different life stages and you could end up being a mother figure to him if his family let him go which they will not.

The other 6 people are not related, it is a house share with very different people. A couple of retired single men, a couple of contractors that rent the room while working and then go home to their families at weekends, that sort of thing.
As for his family, from everything he has said, they are encouraging him to find a full time job and settle down or at least find his own place, they have told him to view his current situation as a stepping stone and not get to comfortable. I should add that he used to live somewhere else and had a job and flat then but he relocated here and was given the job/room to get him back on his feet.

Your title suggests you aren't sure about a relationship but I think you just aren't sure about this man.

How long has been in his situation? You mentioned a stepping stone. What's his plans? Please proceed with caution on this.
A man I know left home at 23 and moved in with his partner and children. He's also never really grown up, even years later. Don't enable this

@Fishpieandchips I think he has lived there for about a year. So far I have seen that he is taking driving lessons (he puts money away each week) and has said that once he can drive it will open up more work opportunities as he can travel without relying on buses and such with I sort of understand. I myself do not drive Currently due to health issues but as I'm self employed I largely work from home anyway. Part of what I enjoy with him is that he is easy going and likes to have a laugh as it does balance me out but I'm just afraid that there may not be a serious, grown up dependable side to him at all I guess which wouldn't work with me long term.

@Notanotherdeadend - I am also exploring new relationships after marriage, though am older than you. This chap sounds fun to be with and perhaps reminds you of dating when you were younger and more carefree.

But, honestly, it sounds as if he is a bit of a man- hold as he lives in a huge house share and doesn’t drive and works for mum and dad. Hardly the sort of chap that will really be a life partner and contributor to your life going forward?
unfairly or not, we do have higher expectations for the men in our life when we have kids and need to be grown ups?

Sorry ‘man-child’, not ‘man-hold’ :)

@MardiMoo I think you may be right about expectations. It's not that I need someone to be equal financially (I'm OK on my own there) so his job isn't a big issue though id like to think he has some ambition to do something more worthwhile. I do however need someone to share the general adult load (decisions, difficult times, proper conversations, future plans...) maybe I will see a different side to him around the children when we take that step? I've seen him with his nephew over a weekend (they stayed with me in my house because he was already here and his nephews dad was a no show so he took over) it was nice to see that he wanted to do things with him to distract him from his dad not turning up for him again. It made me think maybe he does have a more grounded sensible side but is that just my wishful thinking? 🤔