Marrying someone .. we don’t like eachothers families

[Nicolasx]

We’ve been together a while, engaged just before DS1 and getting married just after DD arrives only a small one!

but since becoming parents we’ve kind of found issues with the other families

i don’t like how his mother seems to favourite his brothers children, and makes little effort with our son. I don’t like how anytime I’ve been pregnant she is obsessed with a certain gender and says what she wants - when it’s fucking nothing to do with her

my fiancé doesn’t like how my family are quite involved. I see this as a blessing as they’re the reason me and him have had dates and alone time since becoming parents. His family do not help us out at all.

but today I just feel really stressed (I’m 17weeks pregnant so a bit hormonal) and upset and I think can we even get married if we don’t like the other family?! Am I over stressing

Well, what’s the compromise here? Your mother in law to be, has favourites , which you just have to see as her loss. Nothing you can do bout it , and being jealous is such a difficult hurtful emotion for you. So, choose not to be. Choose to understand that she is missing out on her fabulous grandkids. Her loss. And as for your family being in on yours too much, maybe listen to your partner, is there a day in the week he doesn’t want to see them.. focus on what you can agree on.. my husband and I fight over cooking.. there’s always some hitch in every relationship ..

I wouldn't marry someone if I didn't get on with their family and they didn't get on with mine. To me, it's fundamental to a happy marriage.

However, you already have children so I think you should trust to find a middle ground. I mean, your MIL doesn't sound too bad if all she's said (tactlessly, I admit) is "oh, i was hoping for another boy".

To be honest when I read your title I was going to come on here and say that it’s fine until you have DC then it becomes an issue. Seeing as you’ve already found that out I think you just need to find a way to manage it now; your DH doesn’t need to always be there when you see your family and vice versa which I find helps to manage this