NC didn’t stop my pain and suffering and I’m only free now I’ve lost everything and started again

[BurntoutMessedup]

I only feel able to even start talking about what happened to me now and it’s been a long time.

Growing up my mother was narcissistic. She emotionally and physically abused me for the majority of the time but threw in occasional ‘love bomb’ days so I was very confused.
My sisters (both younger) had roles - youngest was golden child and middle sister was a flying monkey. I’m the eldest.

It got so bad I went NC but that made them all angry. I realised I was their hobby? That their lives revolves around causing me hassle and pain and they needed that and couldn’t let go. So even though I was NC they started on trying to ruin my whole life. This is just some of the things they did to disrupt my life and ruin my reputation:

-reports to SS that my dc were in danger.
-telling wider family that I was on drugs and to not support me in any way and to stop sending money to my dc for birthdays and Xmas as id misappropriate it.
-calling my work to allege things about me ‘anonymously’ that could ruin my career.
-calling dvla to say that I had a medical
condition and shouldn’t be driving.
-writing to my gp with concerns about my dc and my driving (they knew I needed to drive for work )
-telling any friends of mine if they bumped into them absolute lies about me
-told my dh that I was cheating on him

Basically trying to sabotage my whole life and ruin my support network. I lost nearly everything. People would think they were hearing from the majority so a lot believed the lies and I had to accept these friends / family members were now lost to me and I don’t blame them as they were hearing 3 people saying the same thing and they trusted them (all 3 have a thing about a perfect public image so that they can have their lies believed).

In the end I moved as far away as I could and that was what ended it all . I’ve just started counselling now a year after moving as it took me that long just to let things settle as I felt absolutely ruined by it all . I’d lost 3 stone as a result and wasn’t able to work full time anymore due to stress it’s taken me that time to regain weight and to gradually up my hours again in a new job.

Im not sure why I’m posting but I just needed to get it out somewhere in case it’s happened to someone else. I don’t know if this is a thing with narcissistic families that they can’t let go of the scapegoat realises and goes Nc? My family definitely weren’t ready to lose their power over me

The only thing that bugs me is I do wish I knew why. How a mother could look at her children and pick one out to destroy and hurt from a very young age ? I look at my dc and it makes me cry to imagine doing that ?

I certainly didn't have it as bad as you by the sounds of things. I'm sorry you have gone through all of this 😞 My dad was the one who treated me in a very similar way and I eventually went no contact with him In 2014. It relieved a lot of my stress but we live in a small town and he knows a hell of a lot of people who also no me and I am still mow having things past back to me that have come from my dad's mouth. His most recent being to my child's dads best friend knkeing full well it would get back the my ex....I was sleeping around when I was with him and our son is not his, he knows this for certain as I told him myself. This never happened and those words were never said to him but he is so desperate to cause havoc in my life I'm anyway possible. He also does the sane thing to my mum who luckily left him 10 years due to this kind of behaviour. However he doesn't do it to my older sister who is up his backside constantly and laps up everything he says Evan though she knows herself its a crock shite. They did have a falling out once and he did treat her the same as me and mum. Somehow he got her to apologise to him for doing literally nothing in order to keep the relationship with him 🤷🏻‍♀️ it's hurtful when your own family can say and do these kind of things towards you