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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I said it

18 replies

SpringleDingle · 17/07/2023 07:34

6 years ago I got divorced after a long unhappy marriage. It wasn’t particularly vicious, I think he was pretty happy to get shot of me and I was happy to leave.

A year and an half ago I split up from the guy I’d been dating for nearly 3 years after my divorce. I hadn’t seen the misogynistic commitment-phobe red flags, I put up with almost 2 years of virtual sexlessness. He wouldn’t share his life with me but wanted to be part of mine. Finally I found he’d been on Bumble and we finally had our last row. I was pretty down but decided I needed better boundaries. I had to block him in everything because he kept trying to reel me back in or sent angry messages telling me how stupid I was being.

7 months ago I went on a first date with a new guy. I made my boundaries very clear and he is lovely. Really lovely. He is kind, caring, complimentary, passionate, helpful, understanding…. This weekend I opened my mouth and “I love you” fell out. I got an “I love you” back. I’m so happy. This is totally drama free and I think I’m finally accepting that it is going to stay that way!! I just wanted to share!

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 17/07/2023 07:40

That's lovely! Well done you!

disappear · 17/07/2023 07:42

So pleased for you 😊

Hiddenvoice · 17/07/2023 08:15

That’s amazing!

Marineboy67 · 17/07/2023 11:07

Fantastic, wish you well for the future 😀

ClawedButler · 17/07/2023 11:08

Oh how lovely! What a nice thing to read on a Monday morning

EarringsandLipstick · 17/07/2023 11:11

Ah how lovely!

I read the first 2/3 of your post thinking it was going to be another horrible man & you upset it had happened again - so glad to read a happy outcome & fair play you, keeping going & being confident 💪

BlastedPimples · 17/07/2023 11:14

How lovely. Wishing you every happiness.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 17/07/2023 11:16

That was the the ending I was expecting!

How lovely, OP.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 17/07/2023 11:16

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 17/07/2023 11:16

That was the the ending I was expecting!

How lovely, OP.

Was not.

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck

Abhannmor · 17/07/2023 11:18

Very cheering. Thanks for sharing !

stealthninjamum · 17/07/2023 11:18

Op, thanks for posting, I love seeing happy endings.

MumLass · 17/07/2023 11:19

Ah that's fantastic! So happy to read this

Anniegetyourgun · 17/07/2023 11:45

There's an important life lesson in this thread. If you settle for a partner who doesn't float your boat because you believe you'll never find better; if you put up with behaviour that doesn't make you happy; if you keep trying to make it work when it just doesn't, out of fear, inertia or misplaced loyalty: you won't be available to meet a really nice guy. And that really nice guy would be missing out on meeting you too. You both deserve better!

UseOfWeapons · 17/07/2023 11:53

I’m so glad it has worked out for you, OP. That’s a lovely thread! You deserve some happiness, all the vey best to you both.

Passwordsffs · 17/07/2023 12:19

How wonderful xx

SpringleDingle · 17/07/2023 13:11

Thank you all, I don't think I expected to ever feel this happy and comfortable (no niggling doubts, no everything is great BUT) again. I intend to bask in the happy glow of the loved up but keep my boundaries in place!

OP posts:
Summer2424 · 17/07/2023 13:17

Hi @SpringleDingle so happy for you both yay!! ❤ i love those moments xx

valadon68 · 17/07/2023 13:19

Ah lovely OP, enjoy it 😁😁

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