I'm the problem

[Kaleidoscope101]

My marriage ended thanks to my husbands cheating. My parents and siblings haven't spoken to me in 5+ years. Friends have their own lives and sometimes only want me for financial help and/or lifts and favours.
I've tried online dating. No one likes me other than trying to get sex. No one wants an actual relationship with me.
Everyone else seems OK, though, while here I am, on my own.
I feel like the conclusion is that it's me, I'm the problem. There must be something wrong or unlikeable about me.
Do I just need to accept this? I always thought I was a good person, but obviously not. All the people who don't like me can't be wrong.

Other than your parents and sibs not talking to you (not enough info to go on) none of those things are your fault.

May I ask why your family haven't spoken to you? I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out but your better off being alone than with a cheater

The relationship you have with your parents is what has damaged you and caused you to look for partners and friends who will also treat you badly. So yes, it's you in as much as you are actively looking for these types of people, but no it's not you who is treating people badly.

Try looking in different places. Join some groups that are women heavy to try to make friendships. Challenge yourself to try something new that will take you out of your comfort zone. Go on a singles holiday. Try one of those friendship meal groups.

If you really are without genuine friends then what is stopping you from moving somewhere else? Sometimes move to a new place forces you into trying new things.

I'd avoid online dating. It seems to make most people feel desperate and shit about themselves. Most men on thre aren't looking for a relationship with anyone!

I agree with a pp about your family.

Relocating could be great but, if not, I agree with starting new hobbies, going out and meeting new people.

My son recently started a new job where ha ha sade loads of friends. I get on well amd occasionally socialise with the people I work with (been there 2 years) which is something I've never done before. So that's an option.

My son started going to a free comedy night once a week. He often tells me of other places/nights/events he's been to and mostly.with people he's met at the comedy night!

What do you like to do? Can you be brave? Try something new? See what happens?

Re my family. I've never really been good enough.
I'm too loud, too common and worst of all in her eyes, too fat.
My mother has always favoured my sibling and she started to do the same thing with my own children. She actually said she felt the need to "give up" on my youngest as he was too much hard work. He was 3. This resulted in an argument, and we haven't spoken since. I tried to (foolishly) encourage her to have contact with her grandchildren, but she wasn't really interested. She has my siblings' kids, so isn't bothered with mine.

I actually think turning inward and looking at your own behaviour is really positive. Maybe start listening to some podcasts that help with self development etc, find out if there is a root to your unhappiness, work on yourself and find your people. Good luck with it all. Xx

It's probably not you as much as the impact your upbringing, adult relationship with your parents, and your cheating ex has had. Maybe support to work on your self esteem and recognising all the fab things that make you who you are might help?
As for not meeting someone, you're fishing in the wrong pond. Possibly in the wrong season too. If there's someone out there for you and it's meant to be, it'll happen.