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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend wants support but never gives any back

4 replies

Lanadelday · 16/07/2023 21:18

This is a friend I've known decades. I'm not sure now if her behaviour's always been like this or got worse. For background, she's married no dcs, I'm a lone parent. We live some distance apart. She moved house a couple of years ago and was texting me constantly, leaning on me, and that was fine. Now I'm trying to move she's gone AWOL and hasn't even texted. Likewise recently she had a health scare, she was messaging me all the time and I was supportive.
But I've realised that it's a one way street- she wants me to be there when she needs a friend to lean on, but won't do that in return. I feel really let down. I dont think I can bring it up with her though. At the same time now I'm questioning our friendship, if it can even be called that. Any advice?

OP posts:
MetaverseMavis · 16/07/2023 21:44

Block

NapoliTutti · 16/07/2023 22:02

I had a friend like this, I’ve just stopped making any effort with her at all. Just let it naturally peter out. Stop being her emotional support mug; its just not a friendship, you’re a free therapist. Friendship is 100% a two way street.

Lanadelday · 16/07/2023 22:18

its just not a friendship, you’re a free therapist

That does feel like the truth sadly. If I leave it, I expect I won't hear anything until she next needs to lean on me. I probably do need to face facts here.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 16/07/2023 22:33

Yes she's a user, not a friend.

Save the energy you are wasting on her for yourself.

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