How do you cope with loneliness in a loveless marriage

[whatisforteamum]

I tried working loads and this was great as I threw myself into a job I loved.Great work colleagues and sometimes I felt lonely but not often.This worked for many years.
Anyway doing 55 hr weeks in a fast paced place over 55 was getting too much so I swopped to a normal mon to Fri hours.
With so much more time in the home I realised my dh s dreadful habits,sniffing,belching not looking after his health a nd only adressing issues when they were emergencies.
Basically a man child. We both have our own rooms and keep the home nice.
So I have no hobbies except gardening and keeping fit and helping dm who is elderly.
What can I realistically do to feel less lonely again .
Dc have left home now.
I don't drive due to anxiety now.
No matter what I do Sundays drag and feel quite lonely.
What do others do.

Personally, and I know you’ve said it gives you anxiety, but I’d seriously try and consider driving again. Sometimes things that make us anxious can turn into a healthy challenge that you sink your teeth into and overcome.

Drving again, would open up your word hugely!

How do you hope?

You get a divorce.

I meant ‘cope’ - but divorce is the only thing that will bring any hope as well.

Get divorced

Get a volunteer role on Sunday.
Helping in your museum?
Food bank . Local radio station.

Find something you can get to.and go

Do you want to stay with him?

You leave. They make it hard (ironically didn't want you when they had you and then when you leave they can't get enough of you). But it's not a real feeling. What's real is how you're feeling now. There's nothing worse than being lonely in a marriage. If you've put the work in and it's not improved, you absolutely should leave. I had £200 to my name when I threw him out and it's been tough but I've made it work. Am 2,000,000 percent happier now than I was then and I'm totally single.

I had a couple of lesson a yr ago.
First one was great second day froze like a rabbit in headlights.🙄
Tbh I may give it another go as my anxiety has massively improved reducing my work hours.
I've cot booze out and done loads to improve my MH.

I think there is little left in the marriage tbh I just want to explore all options.
We are just v different people.
Volunteering is a good idea.

I can imagine culture.
Being ignored or on different pages is so draining.
I'm a positive morning person he isn't I'm an outdoorsy type he is a couch potato the list goes on.
Shame really.

**surlycurly I mean not culture.

I go to the cinema a lot.

Does it help bookworm44 ?

Why do you want to stay in a loveless marriage though?

Yes it gives me something that gets me out of the house that i can do alone. I find both the cinema and reading to be good forms of escapism.

Pamspeople I guess fear of the unknown and recently I've been bullied at work so my self esteem is low.
Also once the house is sold its sold no going back.

Sorry to hear about the bullying, would you consider having some counselling to help rebuild your confidence and work out what you want for the next stage of your life? We only get one, it seems a real shame to settle for spending the rest of it just making do, living with someone who doesn't make you happy.

What would you do after the house was sold? Rent or would you be able to buy your own place?

Other than the driving bit,I could have written your post OP. I had to re read it to make sure I hadnt.
No answers,but you're not alone.

Thank you all.Sorry you are in this situation hedjwitch.
How do you cope with the lack of affection and general loneliness.?

Councelling is a good idea tbh.

There is no coping with it. If you stay it will eat away at you until you believe that you’re nothing. It will affect how you interact with others and your expectations of them, yourself and of life.

Leave him. How dare he.