In September 2022 I met an incredible guy. Long story short, weve been together for almost a year with no arguements nor breaking up. He is kind, empathetic, caring, SO loving, sophisticated, talented, funny, thoughtful, sincere and my best friend.
On our first date I noticed he was VERY family orientated which, at 30 years old, I found EXTREMELY positive and exciting (we both want to get married etc). He is 28 and still lives with his parents 10mins out from the city. I came from the country and made an active decision to leave my family cos ironically my family are also very close
We met eachothers parents at Christmas, my parents are a good laugh and were ever so warming to my boyfriend but they are quiet and enjoy adventuring and walking and are Christian. They barely drink and dont go to pubs but I still have so much fun with them. My boyfriends parents are a bit more rowdy and have a bar in their garden and are constantly going out and to football matches and concerts. They have always been lovely to me and payed for our holiday this summer. However, whenever I have asked if my boyfriend wants to join me on a family visit he has refused using the worst excuses and its beginning to hurt. He is a very sensitive guy and so I gently asked if it was cos they live a quiet life and he was like "no no babe, its just were both so busy. Your parents are great, it just seems you dont even go that often". This was true, I work up to 48hrs sometimes and have been so busy but the last few weeks when ive mentioned it hes told me hes meeting friends or family when these plans never pan out.
Another thing that has haunted me in relation to our future was a conversation we had a couple months ago when we talked about kids. He stated that bringing them up Catholic was important to him as his family mentioned it but obviously I was raised Christian. Neither of us are religious but were brought up in conservative environments where he went to mass and I went to church. I told him respecticely that I wouldnt feel comfortable with this but we both agreed it wasnt something to discuss yet. He then joked how his mum would be "the best nan" and how she wouldnt ever want to return our kids to which I praised my mum also and he said "well, with your parents being an hour away we'd be able to see them about once a month which would be nice". This again hurt me and I told him once a month compared to seeing his family every day really wouldnt be fair.
My boyfriend is the epitome of perfection but this ONE issue in regards to our families is concerning me massively. My mum had a horrible relationship with my dads mum because she didnt realise how close my dad was to her and they rushed into marriage. This has seperated our family to the point where my brothers wedding was ruined by underlying drama.
Am I being dramatic or do I need to nip this in the bud as I love my boyfriend but want him to love my family