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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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5 replies

doormat1 · 15/07/2023 08:09

Im lying in bed crying and need support. I want to reach out to my family and friends but finding it difficult.
The back story.
I've lived with my partner for 10 years. He has 2 children from a previous relationship.
The children shared their time 50:50 with their parents.
2 years ago my partner was informed his children were being absuded by their stepfather, not sexually but physically and emotionally.
Police & social services have been involved.
The children live with us permanently and have recently started to see their mother on a more regular basis. Their stepfather was found dead a year ago.
We have 2 very damaged children in our home.
Sadly the children have turned on me. My partner and I noticed a change in them since Easter.
Yesterday I was told by my partner that his children state I'm abusive and their father is a puppet. Apparently I will say things to my partner and then he asks the questions.
I've been given the cold shoulder by his children, apparently they won't come downstairs when I'm in the house. Because of me and my behaviour.
I feel I'm being blamed for absolutely everything that is going wrong in his children's lives. Apparently they don't hate me!
The son was taking drugs, I say was, I believe he's dealing. The daughter is being called a bully at scholl by her best friend.
There is so much more I could right but I'm at my longest ebb. I'm accused of being a bully and now being put in the same category as they're abusive stepfather.
Yet, I'm no different to how I've always been. I have their best interests at heart.
Always have, from day one. Loved them.
Taken care of them when their in our home.
Today I looked on right move for rental properties. And I'm in bed crying. Please help me to understand why this is happening.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 15/07/2023 08:12

Get out before you get accused of something, and SS/Police are involved.
Let them win to save your sanity.

isthismylifenow · 15/07/2023 08:23

Move out to the rental property. On your own.

You are and always will be their step mother whilst in this relationship... which unfortunately makes you an easy target for them.

They sound in dire need of therapy and help, the things that you cannot give them.

I think you need to choose you in this situation.

doormat1 · 15/07/2023 18:25

Thank you x

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 15/07/2023 18:43

They've learned from their stepdad and now are abusing you.

Either that or stepdad was never abusive and they drove him to suicide with accusations.

Kids can be evil too afterall.

Leave him, ASAP. Get outa there, it's not safe.

doormat1 · 16/07/2023 11:53

Thank you x
The words
'It's not safe' - is how I've been feeling in the last few weeks.
'I think you need to choose you' - also resonates fully with me
And
'let them win to safe your sanity' - that's how I feel.

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