Is this normal at all??

[SaveThePlants]

Someone you spend your life with.

Isnt interested in what you say.
Barely listens when you talk.
Is kind but often asks you to repeat sentences as they dont hear you.
Spends most of their time wearing headphones so little things you might say as you enter the room are intrusive.
Listens to you but doesnt really hear.
Has no interest in doing anything any time of the year.
And again, is kind but hardly knows you anymore because they never ask you anything.
Seems to listen to you but forgets five mons later.

Been in this situation so long i dont even know if its normal now.
I often feel that if i vanished he wouldnt notice.

It doesn’t sound normal.

No it's not normal at all, sounds really depressing.

there are many issues here and i am ready to pack up and leave.
You can live with something for so long that it becomes normal :(

My ex and his headphones, it's very selective isn't, sometime not listening to anything, lifting one earphone, sorry, so you have to repeat yourself. His dad is the same, but without headphones, pretends to have a hearing problem, could hear the grass grow it wanted too!

Hey OP
no this is not normal.
have a frank conversation with him. Tell him about his actions/behaviour and how they make you feel.

if you both feel you want to fight for your relationship and save it, try looking into some counselling/therapy?

there are plenty of online ones. If you know who Anna Williamson is (Luanna Popcast, celebs go dating) she does some. I think it’s called the relationship place. Good luck x

Hi @SaveThePlants, how are you feeling today?
Everyone here saying that your situation is not normal however, I’m sorry to say that it is the norm in my house and has been this way for about 5yrs now.
DH has been using headphones to watch films in the evenings as I hate the booms and bangs from them and this leaves me quite alone. I’m also not one to sit and watch much tv whereas he is.
He engages if we have visitors but the moment they leave, headphones are back on and he checks out.
From reading previous threads I have come to the conclusion that we are incompatible. There is so much more I would like to do and this doesn’t always interest him.
I’m not interested in any other relationships and if anything were to happen to DH, I would rather live alone, I’m late 50s and enjoy my own company.
It also suits me to stay in this position and to find other things for me to do.
I book concerts alone and actually prefer going alone, have gone for walks alone, exercise classes, cycle rides etc.
DH is also not a great conversationalist and has never been, even before I came on the scene. He frequently forgets what anyone has said to him, not just me.
I also don’t think he knows me or knows how I think as he is useless in choosing presents/things I like. Again, not just for me, for anyone.
This is DH’s character and I’m sure that it will never change. I either accept it or move on.
What do you want yourself? If you want more from him then you should have a conversation. Would a holiday or a meal/coffee out put you both in a position where you have to talk? If he’s not going to change and you want more out of a relationship then maybe it’s time to move on.