Should he do somethng?

[Pinkhyena123]

My husbandworks quite long hours, hes usually home by 7pm but some time later, we have 2 children, i dontwork
He does next to nothing to help, helps with bath and bed two times a week. He does nothing around the house, he never tskes the kids out.
Ive accepted it becsuse i dont go out to work but i am starting a job next month and i dont think he will change and im not sure its fair if i work, part time, look after children amd do house work
Am i wrong expecting my husband to do some housework or look after his children?
My mum was a single mum so hsd to do everything and thats the only other relatiinship i have to compare to so just after advice/ opinions

When you say he currently does nothing, are you saying that you do the childcare, cleaning, shopping, cooking, school admin, planning holidays, everything?

Yes, he definitely should be doing something!

Time for an overdue discussion to split the jobs.

To give you an idea, we both work full time and share responsibilities:

• Equal share of ‘childcare’ otherwise known as being a parent.
• I do meal planning and shopping (I like doing this) but he’ll step in if I can’t for whatever reason
• Equal cooking and cleaning responsibly
• He takes the lead on homework tracking
• He does all school and activities admin and bills admin

Good luck OP.

My take on this is that while you're a SAHM you should be doing 99% of everything. I know kids are a job in themselves (I was a SAHM myself for years) but I accepted that it was a 24/7 role when I took it on.

DH would help me out with the odd bit of housework when it was clear I was tired etc, but home and kids were my domain.

When I went back to work (I'm PT) he started doing more without much discussion about it. However I still do about 65-70% of house stuff. Taking kids to activites etc is shared evenly.

If you're going back to work, just have a chat about how the chores should be shared. But I think 50/50 is unrealistic of he's out til 7pm every day with work.

My take on this is that while you're a SAHM you should be doing 99% of everything. I know kids are a job in themselves (I was a SAHM myself for years) but I accepted that it was a 24/7 role when I took it on.

This is bullshit. I pity you for becoming a mum martyr. Why should a SAHM have a 24/7 role but the Dad have a 9-5 (or whatever this work hours are)?

A healthy relationship will divide physical and mental workload fairly between themselves, and treat employment as just one of the many "jobs" that's needed to run a household.... recognising where the other is struggling, and support where needed.