am i a spoilt cow?

[newgirl]

my husband is a really nice man - great provider, great dad, keeps fit, kind to me etc etc - weve been married for 8 years

and i am bored senseless

i don't want to meet anyone else nor have i seen anyone that i prefer

we go out every week and have great baby sitters

he doesn't talk to me that much and when i complain he gets annoyed - i told him i don't feel we 'connect' any more and he was annoyed because he says he does loads for me

so my question is - should i just get on with it and be appreciative of everything he does do - is there a way to pep things up or do you think relationships just do get a bit boring over time?

sorry to ramble on

men lie to be able to "fix" things. So, if you complain then he thinks that by doing all the nice things you've mentioned, then that should fix it - when it doesn't, he gets cross because he can't fix it.

I think relationships to get a bit more routine over time - especially if you have children - but you can pep them up a bit I'm sure. Someone else will be along to tell you ho - we're just in the place where we're both so knackered all the time that we can't even be othered to pep things up!

you can't help feeling the way you do, and its good that you're trying to talk about it

I'm with ruby, I think you need to get some new interests, either together or separately that will give you more to talk about

thanks tommy - i like the idea of trying to fix things

ruby - i agree tbh - i do work part time and i go out a lot. i'm pretty happy when i do those things - its when its just the two of us i get fed up thinking what shall we talk about etc. i do think i could try harder

following from kevmum i do think we need to do more interesting things - our two are a bit older now and its as if i/we are thinking what is the next phase of our lives

sorry - meant men like to be able to fix things, not lie.

its ok i realised you meant 'like' - i think that is very true of my dh - he tries hard then wonders why i am winging yet again!

the trouble is when you go out together you kinda think that there is an expectation that you dont talk about the kids or you dont talk about work - but lets face it - thats like 90% of eveything.

i dont think that we should tryand make things flow with our dh's/dp's in a false environment like a restaurant - its bullshit.

i you cant communicate in this setting then fuck the 'setting' off - not your dp.

there was a stage in my life where i refused to go out with dh. i didnt want to stare at him across a table and wonder what to alk about -so i didnt - we talk v. well at home and when we are pottering about - lack of communication wasnt an issue - but this tumleweed effect when on a niht out - was a n issue - so i didn;t go out with him - would rather get wankered with my friends anyway.

years later and i have started going out with him again once every 2-3 weeks or so down thelocal playing pool - the pool is thebuffer you see.

I think it is fairly normal to feel this way.

we go the theatre which is good inthat there is something to talk about in the interval...! sporty things are a great idea we should do that more

the tumbleweed effect is spot on

great suggestions and advice ruby and speedham thank you

Ham is so right; I don't think I could go to a pub/restaurant once a week for YEARS with anybody, no matter how interesting, without getting a little bored!

Change the things you are doing, don't put pressure on yourselves to communicate when you go out.DH and I communicate at our best either on the phone, or when clearing up the kitchen at the end of the day!

Maybe go out on your own for a while and don't have that weekly outing with your DH.

I have to say I don't think this is at all unusual and not a sign of a bad relationship, it's just a hurdle to be got over that would happen after some years in ANY relationship