Not too sure you remember me talking about a guy I was dating who still had to get a divorce from a house sale, its been 3 years they have split, had a son aged 11 and was eager to move into my house or at least move fast after a few months of dating!
Well things have gone from bad to worse and its really shaken me up too.
When he was over a few weeks back, we were sitting in the front room and he said to me his son was going through a lot of things at school, which sounded really quite stressful, I said to him, well maybe its best to head home and see him as he is asking about you (this was a Saturday night), only for him to say will you be ok, I said yes of course.... Im just going to see my friend and possibly go out for drinks, he said and you will get chatted up with men, absolutely no way am I leaving you on your own.... to which this left me thinking, I need to be cautious of this guy more or just leave him.
It was after this, I wasnt too sure what this man was all about, was he trying to control me or just come out with the most odd statements with this scary jealous streak of his. He also never went out with friends or had a family near to be with it was just him and his boy when he saw him. His ex has met someone new, strangely close to me, hence he could see moving in with me was a great option to be close to his son!!
That night, it got worse, as I was feeling a little odd from his comment, which didnt sit too well, I just went to sleep and wanted some time out, but genuinely was tired only for him to start crying, quite uncontrollably which, he has done before when we rowed for him to say he cant handle us not getting on or not being close, he has cried pretty much most times I have been with him when he talks about something sensitive, or its about us or anything related to us? its like he cant handle things and reacts by crying? this has been more overwhelming than I thought and has put me in an uncomfortable position of having to leave him now, as I am exhausted and its affected my work and thoughts, more so exhausted, feeling he is demanding of my attention and I wont be enough or cant be enough. Its like he is my child? He is 48 by the way.
I told him I needed time out, to which he has picked up his stuff the next day, which is fine and then disappears into a room and starts getting upset and gets some loo paper and creates a heart shape and puts its on the toilet seat??? I guess expecting me to find it and say something like this is sweet. Instead I think oh god get out of my house!
He says he was trying too hard, wasnt himself and wanted to be perfect all the time for me, only for my friends to say he was just not good enough which may have been the case or just not stable.
I just felt odd with him like he was not emotionally balanced, he use to say to me, you will find I am a lot happier than you are, I use to think really? odd statement to make, but this crying in my bed because I was not close to him, i have never encountered and as much as it was quite sensitive in some way... it was just really heavy and draining.
Since breaking up, he has since been in contact asking to meet up this weekend, to go on a trip, and to see him next week, I have mentioned again its not a good idea he has a lot of things to sort out and to please leave me alone. I have asked him a few times to do this as he kept on sending photos of us, videos of songs which were to do with someone leaving someone and that person died, ok erm....so way too much and had to let him know I am now blocking him!! to which he blocks me back....!
I never thought it would get to this stage, but its absolutely drained me and luckily he didnt move in or went any further! his house is still on the market with the ex, not sold and still married waiting for the house to sell to divorce, what a mess! and all I can think of, is he wanted control and didnt get his own way? not sure what all that was about....
Now sitting here relieved and hoping he will never just randomly turn up at my house, here's hoping not!