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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Terrible break up

6 replies

IliasNK · 13/07/2023 09:42

Hey guys! Hope you are doing fine!
I had a terrible break almost a month ago. Meaning my girlfriend was physically violent to me. So I had to end the relationship.
At first, she had a good behavior towards me. After 3 months the behavior changed a bit. I told her that I want an exclusive relationship with her and she told me that she wanted an open relationship. Well, this kind of... "relationship" lasted 4,5 years. We lived for 10 months at the same place (different houses) and the rest from distance. During this period, she broke up with me via a phone call telling me that: I don't want to talk to you anymore. Then after 6 months she texted me asking how am I doing. Long story short we got "back together". Oh, btw, she was telling me that I am a liar, I am fearful, I am a chameleon, I do not have my own opinion. She was often angry and I was feeling like I was walking next to eggs, afraid of breaking them. She told me that she could love me, but not fall in love with me and even that we do not match romantically. She told me I am a narcissist.
Last time we met she told me that she wanted to be with me but I am not acting right towards her. We had a terrible fight because she thought to I was seeing other girls (I did not). She left from my home, and I went to find her. I was trying to tell her to come home to sleep, because it was cold and rainy outside. She refused and then I left after 20 minutes. Then she phone called me and said that I abandoned her. I went back and picked her with my car. Then in my home as I was trying to sleep she was turning the lights on and off and when I told her I will lock my bedroom door, she hit me. She told me that I should be embarrassed that a woman hit me. After she hit me with her fist, then she told me: Did I hurt you? Because, I do not want to feel guilty. She did not even apologize after the event.
After all these she told me that she want no contact and that shed would delete me from all social media. But she didn't. Also, she phone called me once to she how am I doing.

At some point, Leo, I was doubting myself. I was thinking that I was the one that was always fault. Oh, by the way one night we were laying on bed together, there was a bird outside singing and she told: I want to kill this bird!
Other things she said

  • You are such a giving person and another time - You are stingy
  • You are very supportive and another time - You can support me only on practical matters
  • I like having sex with you and another time - Sex is 1/10 with you
I told her via phone that I want to hug her and she got angry (because it was not possible to hug her) and after a few minutes she told me that she would like to hug me.
  • She blocked me on social and after 2 weeks she unblocked me asking me to wash her clothes.

After she hit me with her fist, then she told me: Did I hurt you? Because, I do not want to feel guilty. She did not even apologize after the event.
There was a time I said: I love you and she responded: I do not f*** care!

I was loosing my mind.

What do you think? Is it possible that she has some kind of mental disorder?

OP posts:
Thebigblueballoon · 13/07/2023 09:48

She sounds like an absolute maniac. Block her on everything and do not be reeled in by this woman again. For your own physical and mental health.

Justcallmebebes · 16/07/2023 11:30

Yes, she's batshit. Run for the hills.

Did love the part about unblocking you just to ask you to do her laundry though Grin

IliasNK · 22/07/2023 21:54

We spoke 2 days ago and she said that she didn't regret about anything she did. She didn't even asked for an apology. She said I don't have feelings in general for other people. That I treated her worse than any guy she met.
But said she don't want to end contact together. And I am confused.

OP posts:
Jongleterre · 22/07/2023 21:55

I can't see the point of open relationship. They seem to appeal to the deranged and the lonely who will tolerate the bad behaviour of the other.

myNewName21 · 22/07/2023 22:03

Batshit fucking crazy, run for your life, block her on everything, find someone decent to date

IliasNK · 22/07/2023 23:20

She did not regret because she was fully conscious as she said...

OP posts:
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