Feel let down and upset

[mumof2g1rls]

Just kinda posting on here to rant because I'm just fed up

So my partners said two things to me today which have upset me. So first up it's our 4 year anniversary on the 20th of July and he was talking about all his plans the rest of the month and I asked him, you remembering our anniversary? And he just looked at me, and I said what date is it? To which he gives me a dirty look and says 'I dunno, end of month or something?' And I said no it's next week, to which he said well I dunno, I've much more going on than trying to remember that. So obviously I was a bit upset at that.

Anyway tonight I'm scrolling instagram and we had just been talking about how this mutual girl we know (he has slept with her years ago) has split from her fiancé 2 weeks before the wedding because she cheated whilst out on her hen do. And as I'm scrolling instagram I see she posted a picture half naked and he's liked it, and I just said to him oh is that you liking 'so and so' post now she's single? (Joking but annoyed as he knows I don't think it's appropriate to be liking girls pics he's slept with, as he's actually done this before🤔) and he said pfft hardly, your fucking mental man. I said I just don't like seeing that or think it's appropriate to which he replied I don't actually care at all.

Now this tied in with the fact he can't seem to remember our anniversary has really upset me and I'm wondering what the actual hell I'm doing. So now I'm upset as clearly he doesn't really care, but he doesn't think any of that matters and thinks I'm just 'mental'

I absolutely despise when people call a person mental for being annoyed or upset about something. I'd be upset about the anniversary being so blasé to him. As for the picture, I'd be wound up. If it was a celebrity I don't think I'd care but someone you both know and they're half naked, nah.

He sounds like a complete Neanderthal.
are you happy? Does he treat you this way all the time, as if you don’t matter?
does he add anything good to your life at all?

You dump him.

This is really straight forward. 🤷🏻‍♀️

What advice are you looking for?

Sorry for being unsympathetic - but so many people on here do not seem to understand the basic tenets of a relationship: you’re supposed to love AND like each other.

I get the anniversary thing if he's always been disinterested in celebrating anniversaries. I don't celebrate them. But if he's been ok about them in previous years and knows you get enjoyment from celebrating them, he does sound thoughtless.

The picture thing is different, if he's no longer friends with an ex lover and only 'sees' them via social media it is disrespectful to you to like her provocative photos.

If he is in a bit of a rut and perhaps feeling bored, he's going to get irritated by you being needy.

The best advice I ever read was something like .. if you are not happy then you are not happy .. you don't have to 'analyse' everything and try and find a reason and make excuses. Put yourself first, this guy doesn't seem to make you happy .. it doesn't matter what other people think is 'reasonable'.

The anniversary wouldn’t bother me. I have no idea when ours is. But his responses to you make him sound like a dismissive, self-involved prick. Unless these are two isolated bad moments, and generally he’s kind, caring and thoughtful, I’d ditch.

@CrazyArmadilloLady " so many people on here do not seem to understand the basic tenets of a relationship: you’re supposed to love AND like each other."

Oh, SO much this! I am always saying to my children-the other person should be happy to see you!

In what way is he your partner? What anniversary do you mean? What is the rest of the relationship like? What kind of person is he? What are your joint plans for the future?

Rightly or wrongly, based on what you write I'd assume you are both young, he is very immature, he is not committed, and you are hoping for something from him that you are unlikely to get, ever.

Long story short: he is unlikely to be 'the one'. And he probably doesn't see you as 'the one' either.

What an ugly, rough, sleaze you are with.

4 years too long.

If you want to be treated with kindness and respect, avoid scum like him.

Dirty looks are not normal loving behaviour.

Up your standards.

Why would you waste your time on someone so contemptuous of you?

His liking her post is him indicating he's up for a rebound hookup.

I'd dump him now. You don't sound happy.

He’s showing you who he is op, you need to believe it and walk away from it

If you’re not married then people often don’t see the ‘anniversary’ as important. That aside, he sounds crap- can you start making plans to separate?

What advice are you after OP? he's clearly unreasonable (although the anniversary stuff wouldn't bother me in the slightest personally) but calling you mental isn't on.