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Original poster

How to not care anymore

2 replies

Justme1728 · 12/07/2023 22:07

How do you stop yourself from caring?
the thought of losing my partner literally breaks me and I don’t want to feel this way as I think nothing in life is permanent. I know I have issues deep within myself that I need to work on mainly insecurities, but I can’t help this because of my past. Anyway probably a stupid question but how can I not love so much. And why am I so scared of being alone? I’ve lost my mum and so I’m used to loss.. but the thought of losing everything scares me and being alone.

OP posts:
JellybabyToes · 12/07/2023 23:01

Reading a little between the lines here. It sounds to me as if this person you want to stop caring about represents an overly large part of your life. I wonder if they are your whole/majority of your social life and support network and that maybe you don’t have many other people (friends, family) that you can rely on or spend time with? I also wonder if you might be codependent so that the thought of losing the relationship is intolerable? I get the sense you realise this leaves you in a vulnerable position.

If this is the reason, then you stop caring as much by building a more balanced life and one you are happy with. Do things just for you, try new things, meet new people. Work on your self esteem so that you love yourself and your own company and then you’ll know you’ll be ok no matter what life throws at you. Therapy might also be a good thing to work through your past issues and help
with all the above.

I hope this doesn’t come across as blasé, I know these things are easy to say and difficult to do. Wishing you lots of luck op Flowers

BMW6 · 13/07/2023 12:05

It sounds like you are afraid of the pain of grief. Who wouldn't be afraid- it hurts like hell.

But you can't turn off love to avoid grief. That would be cutting off your nose to spite your face.

The thing I've learned from several losses is that grief doesn't tear you forever. The pain fades and when it does the wonderful memories of the love come to the front. The memories of the love DON'T fade.

Grief is the price we pay for love and its worth every penny in the long run.

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