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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

To leave DHJ

31 replies

julietlondon · 12/07/2023 04:52

I'll just cut to the chase. My DS (5) has been repeatedly bullied for a year. My DH doesn't believe him, then on other days says he's exaggerating to not go to school.

We have proof of the bullying (pics of bruises and calls from the school)

Do I need to leave my vile DH?

OP posts:

confusedwife12345 · 12/07/2023 16:39

Thank you 🙏 just managed to figure it out

Lili132 · 13/07/2023 10:19

julietlondon · 12/07/2023 11:54

DS has been bullied for over a year. I have pictures of his face when a kid stabbed his face with a pencil, which left a scar on his face. He was pushed by the same kid and had a neck injury. DS doesn't drink water at school due to not wanting to use the bathroom there, the kids open the door to taunt him. He feigns illnesses to not go to school. I don't think this is an overreaction at all. My DH is an one of those people who will never believe a victim, somehow it's not true. Somehow in his brain its a lie, or an exaggeration. I reckon DH is not the person to go to when something painful or terrifying is happening.

That is absolutely awful and I agree your son might need some professional help to process this trauma.
I think your first priority should be stopping the bullying even if that means changing school. Focus on your child now then you can decide what to do about your marriage.

EliflurtleTripanInfinite · 13/07/2023 12:44

That was a big update re the bullying, it sounds like DS would need the support therapy can give. It is disgusting that his own father wouldn't take such systemic and damaging bullying seriously. If that's what he's like that and also given how you speak about him I'd LTB. What are you getting out of staying? Is it you're too afraid to tell him, I've been there, and it took a long time to get up the courage and now I wish I could have done it years ago. I suggest moving DS and divorcing not so D, H and you and your DS will be a lot happier and more peaceful.

AgnesX · 13/07/2023 12:47

julietlondon · 12/07/2023 05:13

I told DH I need to get DS some therapy for this. And DH response was "why do we always have a crisis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Thought to myself, I really know what evil looks like now.

That's a bit over the top.

Think you need to examine your relationship in general though.

Cegbee · 16/07/2023 21:21

If you genuinely believe your husband is "vile" and "evil" yes, you should leave him.

wendyjoy · 24/07/2023 17:35

Take your son out of school until you find another... if he's being bullied at 5 years old that is just horrific and l could cry for him.. while you're doing that.. take you and your son away from your husband or ask him to leave.

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