Any one had a difficult start to a relationship but it lasted?

[Thisisnice]

As the title states- is anyone in a relationship where you are currently happy but the first 6 months or so were full or arguments?

There seems to be a clash in personalities at times with my relationship, we are arguing weekly but with each argument we are getting to know each other a bit better and how to handle things moving forward. I do genuinely believe that things will settle but it’s as if we are doing things the opposite way around.

Sounds weird to me. What are you arguing about? I’d be wary.

No. I leave if it's this bad at the start. I've never regretted it.

Sorry, I realise that's probably not the answer you wanted. But, I don't want lots of conflict in my life so I walk away.

I would say in the second 6 months yes, maybe, not the first though. Maybe slow things down a bit so that you get to know each other better but without spending all your time together.

What are you arguing about and how long have you been together?

In early stages I would say it’s not normal to have regular arguments. In fact I don’t think it’s healthy to argue regularly in any relationship

I've just been dumped out the blue after a year of zero arguments, so fuck knows what the formula is!

We’ve been together 26 years. Our teens say we “argue all the time” but it’s more like comfy bickering about trivia. There’s never any real bad feeling. We have a handful of proper arguments over the years. And they weren’t very nice. We were married though so worked through it. Like hell would I have wanted to work through it during our “falling in love” romantic stage .They were mostly to do with differences of opinion about aspects of child-rearing. A long way off for you, surely, unless this is a second marriage and you are older?

We met online and it’s relevant that we argued before we even met!

We have different views on certain things where I admit I tend to raise my voice - something I will work on. When I’m frustrated I hang up the phone too- because I don’t like being angry.

He finds this very rude, which I admit it is, but I also find him rude in his delivery in things. Sorry to be vague as I don’t want to say exactly what the arguments are about as it will be outing.

We have had totally different life experiences and upbringings but we do share similar life values.

We have been together for 8 months and the weekly arguments have probably started from month 2 consistently.

But I wondered if anyone did start off rocky and it eased down

Oh no, I’m sorry to hear this!
no arguments at all? What was his reason?

Why would you want to get to 8 months in a relationship where you're unhappy all the time. This is meant to be the easy, fun bit!

Me and DP have had 4 proper arguments in 16 years, and they've all been about really important life changing things. How do you find stuff to argue about that often? Do you even like each other?

This sounds like a bit shit tbh. It’s an unhealthy dynamic and sounds like you are in the drama. Get out now

Yes, I am. We argued a lot at first, now married seven years and never really argue. So I guess it worked out, although I can't say I don't have regrets. I never got to have that happy honeymoon time and now I never will. Maybe if I ended it, I would have met someone else and had a lovely time being in love, and a good marriage later. Or maybe not, who knows.

Depends how old you both are.
my husband I got together at 14 (36 now) so for obvious reasons it was rocky for quite some time. However if we’d only just met in the last 10 years it would have been absolutely fine.
what have you been rowing about?
You can’t have any combined money issues or family issues yet so the issues must be personal. Maybe you need time to work through those issues before getting into a relationship.
I can’t say whether it will work out for you both but if you’re rowing only 8 months in, I can’t say you have a high chance of glowing success going forward.

Sorry - I think this is weird and a bit akin to the wonderful feeling you get when you stop bashing your head against a wall.

What are your arguments about, how heated are they, and how do they resolve?

There's a difference between a heated, but good-natured, disagreement over difference of opinion on politics or something, where you don't fall out and agree to disagree.... and a full on shouting match where you are hurtful to each other and you don't make up for hours or days because the argument was so raw.

The first is actually quite healthy imo and shows you're being real with each other, the second definitely isn't.

If someone angered me to the point of hanging up on them in the first 6 months, I'd end it! Likewise if they were a hanger upper. Sounds like far too much drama for me.

It sounds like you're just fundamentally incompatible. How will you cope you have actual real life things to disagree on?

Raising your voice and hangin' up.
I think I'd be doing a permanent disappearing act.