How do I explain why we won’t see a grandparent anymore?

[BQ22021]

My mum remarried when I was a kid and my stepdad took on a father figure role for me and my siblings and when we all had kids there was no question about him being grandad to them.

However we’ve just found out he’d been unfaithful, he’d been messaging people online and even had someone in the house. He has moved out and we don’t expect to see him again and I’m just wondering how to explain this to my 4 year old. I don’t want to lie but also need to be age appropriate and not worry him that anyone in his life can just disappear.

Why do you need to not see him again? If he is your stepdad and grandad to your kids then surely that’s completely separate to him being a sh*tty husband to your mum?

My dad was a fairly awful husband but we still saw him after he finally left because he was our dad?

Agree with @cracktheshutters - if he was a good father figure and has been a good grandfather, you don’t have to deprive yourself and your children of that relationship. My dad had numerous affairs and his marriage to my mum eventually broke down. That was before my DCs were born but it wouldn’t have occurred to me that they couldn’t have a relationship with him.

It never occurred to me that I couldn’t have a relationship with my dad either, nor did my mum try to prevent us having one.

My children have an uncle who they no longer see as a result of a similar situation.

Thr way I discussed it was on the same “no blame” basis that you would discuss parents divorcing. So just factually with things like they will live in different houses

Don’t. You can let it fade away. Just don’t discuss it and answer questions truthfully but vaguely.

Yes, no need to make an issue of it. Kids probably won't even notice. I'm sure their lives are full enough anyway.