A good friend of mine is in difficulty, but she hasn't asked me for help. I'm wondering how best I can support / assist her without directly getting involved.
My friend is a hoarder. Her house is packed floor to ceiling with stuff, leaving only narrow walkways through which she's able to squeeze. Even her bed and stairs are piled high with belongings. There's no room in the house unaffected and she even stores items in her bath.
She regularly complains about her 'clutter' and makes attempts to clear things. However, she's physically disabled and is therefore limited in terms of what she can do by herself.
I have a number of concerns, but most important is her safety. There is no way she could get out of the house in the event of a fire (for a start, most potential exits are blocked) and I'm worried that the piles of stuff could potentially collapse and injure her.
My friend is extremely sensitive about her situation. For this reason, I haven't been to her house for years. I believe the situation became a lot worse during Covid as she was shielding and admits she began obsessively placing internet orders as a way to cope with the isolation. She doesn't have important issues fixed in her house because she just can't let anyone in to do the work.
A few months ago, the police and fire service broke into her home to conduct a welfare check (prompted, I believe, by a call from a concerned neighbour). She happened to be staying with a friend at the time. Ultimately, the police seeing the house led to her receiving a call from social services, offering to help. She told them she did not want their support and told them not to call back.
I once attempted to broach the safety issues with her (particularly re fire) and she immediately shut me down and said she'd be able to get out in an emergency. Since then, we've only ever discussed her situation when she's wanted to (very rarely).
She gets upset about not being able to have visitors and says she feels overwhelmed by the prospect of decluttering her home. At other times, she says she's convinced she's on top of things and is making progress. These are the times when she minimises the issues.
I want to help her, but I doubt she will accept my offer. Is there anything I can do to support her and help her keep herself safe?