Ex-friend keeps apologising

[Midnites]

We were friends for a long time, 15 years. It was a school friendship, so there had been lots of drama along the way that continued into adulthood. Always fall outs and making up. A couple of years ago she pulled her usual tricks and I just thought you know what, I'm a 30 year old mum and I don't have the headspace for this anymore, I have some lovely friends who don't fall out with me all the time. I'm fine without you. And when she came crawling back as always I just ignored. She pops up fairly often, messaging me with an apology, she messages for special occasions. I just don't reply anymore because I don't know what their is to say. I've had another apology and I don't really know what to do. Do I carry on ignoring? Do I reply and say there is no need to carry on apologising, what's done is done there's no bad blood and she doesn't need to carry any guilt but I'm not interested in restarting a friendship? I don't particularly want to reply, to be honest, but I wonder why she feels the need to keep messaging. I don't want her to be giving it headspace all the time. I don't really think about it or her anymore, I'm happy and it's not something I dwell on or feel sad over. If anything finally cutting her off was a weight lifted as opposed to something I regret happening?

I'd reply saying no bad feelings, she doesn't need to apologise again, but friendship has run its course snd you've moved on. Then block her so she can't keep hassling you.
I think it's important to close relationships properly if you can, have your say and be as honest as you are able to be without getting too dragged back into it.

I would just message but saying something along these lines.

"Hi X hope you're well. Thank you for the apology and for checking in. Please do not feel the need to keep apologising. That is now in the past and I have moved on. I really appreciate it and I wish you nothing but the best. Take care"

Thanks. It's hard because I feel like unless I'm really blunt she'll think I'm trying to get back in touch and it's not like me to be blunt and I don't want to upset anyone. I don't want it to be playing on her mind but I'm also just not interested whatsoever I'm going back to how we were, or resuming contact. I will try and get a message together that makes that clear and isn't too harsh

The problem seems to be not so much that it plays on her mind, but more that it just isn’t getting through to her. For an apology to be genuine, it also needs to bring changed behaviour, which doesn’t seem to be the case with her.
@justanothermanicmonday1 makes a good suggestion re the wording, if you wanted to be less direct, maybe say something along the lines of “this is all in the past” (the inference being that she is also in the past, although I appreciate this may be too subtle for her).
Good luck!

I agree with suggestions above. In case it's genuinely playing on her mind, then a polite but clear statement that she has no reason to keep apologising, it's all in the past, you've moved on and there doesn't need to be any more contact, and you wish her the best.

If after that she gets in touch again, she is ignoring your request and therefore her apoligies aren't genuine, she's trying to wind you back in.

Some will say don't respond at all, and I can see that might be sensible. I think I'd want to respond if I genuinely thought this was continuing to hurt her, and it might free her to know there's no hard feelings (and would therefore help me move on as well).

If there's any part of you that thinks she's only thinking of herseld and trying to reel you in, ignore.

Do I reply and say there is no need to carry on apologising, what's done is done there's no bad blood and she doesn't need to carry any guilt but I'm not interested in restarting a friendship.

This, but I'd also add in please respect my boundaries about this.

She will then call or try to argue you might consider blocking

This is awful but I’d just ignore her

any response will start things off

just fade

I’d go back with “it’s all in the past now and I have very much moved on from what’s happened and our past friendship. I suggest you try to do same and please stop messaging me.”

then block.

I would message something like ‘I am not sure what you are hoping for from these texts but while I hold no bad feeling towards you, this is all in the past for me and I have moved on. I wish you well.’

Then I would not engage further

I'd just block her. 🥲

I had a similar situation, however cannot block as I see them regularly out and about. I'm just very blazè and civil. Constantly try's to get back into my life, but I keep conversations to the point of hello, how are you? And tend to leave any messages unread.

Send her a final message as some other PP have said just stating there's no need to apologise the friendship has run it's course etc. Just be very clear with no wiggle room in it. It sounds like she keeps trying because she's still holding out hope so telling her where she does stand should fix that. If she messages again after that then yes I would block her.
It will be playing on her mind, I lost my best friend when i split with an old boyfriend years ago, she picked his side, even though none of us were asking her to. I tired a couple of times a few years after to reach out and I got nothing and that hurt more I think. Having a final message saying where you stand allows you to grieve the friendship.