Son not ready to night time toilet train!!

[Thefirstime]

He is 4.5 years and becoming so angry about not starting toilet training, I started before (year ago) but he was far too young and was wet every night..

now it’s becoming a major issue every night as he wants to wear his regular daytime underwear..

he’s a very deep sleeper and out of 7 nights wakes up wet 4-5..

shall I just start and go cold turkey??

I am trying to limit his drinks before bed too as he likes a full drink..

any advice?!

he seems ready to try!!

You and the people advising you are wrong on all counts.

The thing is, IRL you only hear from the people who through mere luck had kids who were dry at night early. Bed wetting isn't a topic that comes up at the school gates even though statistically there will be several in each class in the early years, still one or two by the end of ks1 and some later. More boys but some girls too. Enuresis is considered completely normal and not eligible for treatment till a child is 7 IIRC.

I knew ds was ready to be without night nappies when his nappy was reliably dry in the morning. It still took me a few weeks to take them away though - he was 2½ years old.

Just because they have a nappy on doesn't mean they will use it.

If you do take them to the toilet in the night (not recommended) then you need to make sure they are awake enough to know what they're doing or you're just teaching then to pee in their sleep anyway.

No I'm not saying I'm right. What's I've said is I'm confused.
But I will wait until I start seeing dry morning nappies.
I just can't be bothered with trying to explain this to my parents who will get on at me for not doing it earlier!

Been through this and attempted night training, it doesnt work. Wait for dry nappies in morning.

To try and resolve the argument at bedtime i agree plainer reusable ones might be better as closer to pants.

My daughter was dry during the day at 3 but night time took longer. She was dry in summer nights but weed during winter nights. She was nearly four before she was night realiable. Had a few accidents but few and far between. Now she takes herself to the toilet in the middle of the night, leaves all the lights on (hehe but i don´t begrudge it) at 4.5.

I found for the one of mine who also hated pullups and sometimes would wet more than once in the night! I would 'layer' the bed. So a waterproof sheet undersheet, waterproof sheet, undersheet then a third waterproof sheet and undersheet. That way when he wet I'd just have to whip off the top layer, clean him up and straight back into bed. No remaking the bed at 3am!

he is still little and its honestly one of those things that you can't really control, at least for another couple years, then maybe a bed wetting alarm might help. you could try that now, but as he is still quite little it may not work.

If he hates wearing the pullups and its stressing him out, I would stock up on mattress protectors and some spare undersheets. I've had 2 bedwetters, and 3 who were dry at night from the get go. it follows no pattern.

Hmmmm.

Nobody on this thread has addressed the problem of 'he likes a big drink before bed'. That would be my biggest problem to tackle. A massive reducuction in drinks after tea is naturally going to reduce the amount of urine produced overnight. If ds kicks off tell him that it's to help him wear regular pants - which does he want more?

Even the most reliably dry child can have an accident if they've had too much to drink before bed, cutting this out seems to be the logical first step. After this THEN look at all the physiology above, zero point starting on anything else before changing when he takes his fluids throughout the day. IMHO.

DD is 4.5 and still a heavy wetter overnight. She has 'night time pants', the dry nites type ones, and understands that her body hasn't learned to hold pee overnight so until it does she needs to wear her night time pants. Does he understand that his body needs to be 'ready'?

Just to jump in to say, when my little ones go through periods of really refusing a nappy a night (when both have wet nappies more often than not), I wait till they are asleep and put their nappy on them.

I did, way upthread, though maybe not obviously enough.

The logical first step isn't to cut out his bedtime drink. It's to ensure he's drinking enough earlier in the day. And then, hopefully, he won't feel so thirsty at bedtime so then you can cut back the evening drinks.

What you don't want to do is get the cart before the horse and have a dehydrated child with a small bladder for their age.

Well yes, the managing inputs would mean spreading out the drinks throughout the day from waking to teatime. But I know what I'm like as a 40yo woman who hasn't wet the bed for decades if I drink anything before bed - to a small child who is trying to manage their bladder overnight (who may OR may not have sufficient hormones for this to kick in) it is surely a first step before stressing out about hormone levels etc

My DS wet the bed fairly regularly between 5 (when pull ups were too small) to 8. Even though I lifted him at night to do a wee before I went to bed.

What is handy is making up the bed with a waterproof mattress protector, then a sheet, then another protector, and another sheet, so you can just whip off the top 2 layers quickly when he wets and put him back in bed.

DS grew out of it at 8. Think it's quite common.

Take him to the toilet between 10-11pm, we did this with our little girl for a good few years. She can now sleep through without needing the toilet at 4.5 years. Just wake him gently and say toilet and guide him there and guide him back to bed. They don't usually wake fully.

Use a bed wetting alarm. It won’t stop the urine being produced but it will train your DC to recognise the feeling of a full bladder and wake up to go to the toilet.

otherwise yes you will have to wait for the hormone to be produced which could take until he is 11 according to PPs.

But surely unless you try your body would just keep peeing on the night regardless of you have the hormone level or not?

No, the hormone literally stops you producing urine. Levels go up while you are asleep, stopping you making any urine overnight. But that only kicks in when you are between 2-5, or for some children even older.

You can get synthetic versions of the hormone (desmopressin) which can be given as a nasal spray at bedtime, as a treatment for children who are bedwetting at older ages.