Does your dh do this? Initiating sex question.

[Threesmycrowd]

Dh and I have sex about twice a week. He initiates more than I do. Once he is in the mood, if I say no he will then try at every subsequent opportunity until we have sex. I hate it! It makes me feel really pestered and like I'm fending him off. For example: Thursday night, I say no. Dh then makes a move:

• Friday night
• Saturday when dc naps
• Saturday night
• Sunday when dc naps
• we finally have sex Sunday night

That's just an example - I am not turning him down all the time! But I just know he's always thinking about it. On the other hand if I initiate on Thursday and he's not interested I might not try again for a few days. I'm just wondering if all men get the idea of sex in their head or if its just here that that happens! There's just something about the expectation of sex that I find a massive turn off.

Pester-y.

(on the main thread topic).

yes he would probably like it more than twice a week and I think that'll improve anyway - at the moment I am breastfeeding and we still have our youngest in our bedroom with us (5 mth old) but Ill enjoy sex more and be more up for it once I stop bfing. That's what happened last time.

This detail should have been in your OP.
He's having more sex than the majority of men who have a 5 month old baby at home, and he should have the basic common sense and decency to understand that there could be many days that you're exhausted and completely touched out so he shouldn't be initiating every chance he gets.

didnt know i was developing a following :)

OP asked for an opinion, I gave an opinion that unless she openly stated she doesn't want sex then it's not a pestering. If she has made it clear that it's not the lack of time / space / opportunity but that she simply does not want to have sex then of course it counts as pestering

He keeps trying a couple of times every day until she gives in because she feels obliged

No, he asks once, then tries the next day.

Stop making things up and saying it's coercive.

Where can I find a man that wants it every night? Or every morning. In any case daily. Sigh…

No, she said he tries at every subsequent opportunity like when the DC naps, you can see the list quite clearly in the OP.

She also said that the initiating doesn't stop and relentless.

It IS coercive

I think that's more of an opinion and up for debate. I'm going on based on this:

Thursday night, I say no. Dh then makes a move:

• Friday night
• Saturday when dc naps
• Saturday night
• Sunday when dc naps
• we finally have sex Sunday night

This is not coercive.

Anywho, I think Mumsnet is littered with posts about their DH's not wanting sex, and would love some pestering.

Nope, not up for debate.
He asks at every opportunity which in their household seems to be when their child naps and then at bed, and she said she agrees to get him off her back.
It's coercive.

So what if other women would love their DB to want sex, that doesn't mean that the OP should be grateful that her husband pesters her for sex.

The OP posted this 2 years ago...