I have been having this “relationship” with this woman for over a year, she was a friend who I got together with after my partner and I split up
We come from very different backgrounds, I run a couple of businesses and financially do well, I have great relationships with people and am generally very happy.
She's from a background where she suffered from domestic abuse,took drugs, lost a child and is currently dealing with her other kids being under the supervision of social workers.
For some reason we got on really well, we spent a lot of time together and although other people had an issue, I backed her up fully and fell out with some people over their thoughts on her.
She currently lives alone, sees her kids a couple of times a week and has no job, shes always facing money problems for food, power etc and when I suggest she gets a job she says she should work for me, I explained that I don’t think it would be right for her but she gets angry and starts a fight.
Ever since I have known her she's had some questionable friends, the usual drug-taking, benefit fraudsters neds who blame everybody for everything and its all the government's fault that they don't have enough money for drugs, vapes and boose.
I have always included her in my life, my friends know her and I have always offered her nice things. I don’t openly hand out cash but I would not see her without food, power stuff for the kids when she sees them.
I totally treat her like an equal, I like spending time with her but it seems to be getting worse by the day. If I talk to her about work she tells me to shut up and she does not care
I seem to be seeing her less and less but she gets super jealous if I’m out with my team or even other business owners. I got shouted at then she ignores me for a day or two out of badness.
Last week she sent me a message saying I have 2 mins to call her as she was selling her phone to get money for food, I was with clients and after an hour the phone was off, turns out she pawned it and was using an old tablet on wi-fi. Trying to explain to her the importance of having a phone should the kids, social work etc was like talking to a wall, she was going on about having no food. The fact is she knows she could just ask.
Shes now running about with this absolute cretin she used to work with, prolific drug user, serious mental health issues and seems to attract trouble with the police easily. I was told last night of a serious incident involving violence that they both went to and are now having to be questioned by police.
I do really care about her but it seems no mater what I do she reverts back to the wrong desisions and wrong people, giving her oppertunity, trying to take financial pressure off etc seems to be no good, she seems to want to blame everyone for her issues and not take accountability.
She gets annoyed when I go out with my kids and goes absolutly nuts if I spend time with my ex and kids for the childrens sake.
When I don’t hear from her I get anxity, I’m not worried shes with some other guy I’m just concerned shes out doing something thats not sensible or could lead to trouble for her and her kids.
I’m now at the stage I feel i cant do any more, I could put together a perfect life but as soon as I’m out the door some low life would be up taking advantage.
I know if I cut her off and walk away she will spiral back to the life that got her to where she was. I have massive feeling of guilt that her kids will suffer all over again and its partially my fault for not keeping her going.
I don’t know if I love her or I just don’t want her to go back to the old her.
Any suggestions, in my head walking away seems right but I feel so bad
I have tried to talk to her with my feelings but she just gets angry