... you can't really do anything except listen, right?
There is a woman who is part of a bigger group of mums that I have dinner / lunch with every now and again. I don't know her well and we have zero interaction one on one. The bigger group is about 10 of us, with at least 6 at every get together, and while we all get on we haven't turned it into a solid friendship group if that makes sense?
One of the women has made a few comments that make me think her dh is very controlling and possibly abusive. Based on what she says and how she behaves, my instinct is that it's not because he's a bad guy but more because he has his own mental health issues, a very stressful job etc and as a result she is, understandably, sympathetic to him.
But that's not an excuse and not a reason for her to spend her days running around trying to mitigate his "triggers". Because we do only see each other a couple of times a year (our DCs all go to different schools and have moved on from the original activity that brought us together so we don't run into each other on a regular basis), I think I've noticed it more as she seems more worn down and exhausted every time.
I've been thinking of texting her separately to suggest meeting up. Not for any big heart to heart but simply as a way to be another pair of ears as it were. But that's the limit of what I can do isn't it?