I’ve been with my husband for 27 years since I was a teenager. We did have times we broke up in the early years and I have been with other men, but not since my early 20s. I’m now 45. We have older kids.
Sex life has never been great. He’s always had erectile issues and he’s never ever made me climaxed once in the time we’ve been together. He’s tried a few times but it doesn’t work. We have had phases when it’s been ok. He started ordering pills when it because possible to do it without seeing a doctor, which could be almost 10 years now but I can’t quite remember. The problem with them is there’s no spontaneity and I find it hard to then pinpoint an exact moment tiring the day when it’ll all work beautifully and we can have sex. I’m self conscious, I’m anxious and I then don’t enjoy it. He’s always telling me he thinks I’m beautiful and he is affectionate but he’s also one to try and grab and grope and it just doesn’t work for me. He’s generally satisfied because I will assist him in climaxing several or more times a week. It’s always mainly been this way. We’ve spoken about it but nothing changes or if it does, it’s extremely short lived.
I know things will never change. It’s too late, it’s been like this for almost 30 years. But last night I had a very vivid and exciting dream about someone I know and it’s really upset me and it’s made me realise how sad this is all making me. I think I tried to convince myself that it’s all normal but I know it probably isn’t. It’s not something I speak to other people about so I’ve nothing to compare it to but I read so much about women having amazing sex lives especially once they get older.
I’m 45. I’m over the hill for all this. I should have done something about it 20 years ago, but I didn’t.
That dream has really upset me.