Why have I turned into a pathetic needy creature?!

[Pinkchampagne]

Just recently I have been feeling very insecure & pathetic about things going wrong in my new relationship. I don't really have reason to feel this way because he hasn't really done anything to make me feel insecure, but I can feel paranoid about the silliest things.
I normally keep these silly low moments to myself, but I don't know why I have turned into such a weak pathetic being!

Feeling worse atm because he is away skiing with friends for the week, and has little time to text properly, which makes me feel all pathetic & low. He still contacts me at some point of the day, so what's my problem?!

I used to be made of much tougher stuff, so am quite surprised at myself!

He has moments of feeling insecure about silly things too (I am worse though!), so maybe it is the stage we are at in our relationship. Or maybe my pill is messing with my hormones!

We have been together 6 months now, and I feel so much for him. I think I am maybe just frightened of losing him.

Has anyone else felt similar at this kind of stage of a newish relationship?

I was scared of getting into another relationship after separating from ex H. I didn't want to get all emotionally attached, and now I have done just that & I think I am just so scared of losing him.

I am not being all pathetic to him btw. I can just feel all low & worried about silly things, but it is normally when I am here on my own.

hi pinkchampage! love the name btw. treat myself to pink prosecco at least once a month-champagne only for special occasions I think what you're describing is normal, esp if you've been through a huge seperation. you need to claim back you time. spend this week pampering yourself a bit more than usual, look up some music that only you like, tell yourself you are gorgeous ten times a day. any chance of a meet up with some girlfriends for drinks or even coffee? anything to distract you. when the cats away pinkchampagne must play.

plus you need to dazzle him with the fun or at least independant stuff you've done when he's been away. he'll be amazed at your self sufficiency and eating out of your hand

Yes, don't turn into a simpering heap! This is the perfect opportunity to spend time doing What YOU want to do. You can bet your bottom dollar he's having a fab time skiing, not pining !(Altho I'm sure he misses you!)

A strong independent woman is a much more attractive proposition (IMO) than a needy clingon.

Sorry, that sounds horrible, just trying to give you a virtual shake so you don't spiral down! Oh, and theres nothing wrong in being emotionally attached, it proves you can care for someone again after your split.

I'm not really a simpering heap. I met up with a friend last night & drank far too much wine! I am not being that pathetic, and I have a night with friends planned for Friday night.
It is just i feel more paranoid than normal. don't remember feeling like this when I was in the early stages of my relationship with ex h.
I worry loads about things & him being away is just giving me more time to think silly thoughts. I'm not curled up pining for him though. Am I making any sense at all?

I guess we still have so many hurdles ahead of us. I have two children & he has a laid back lifestyle with a little westie dog. I worry he would find my lifestyle such a huge shock & may not be able to handle it.
I have also had all the issues with my family refusing to accept him because of their relationship with my ex, and know the whole situation there must get to him.

I guess I am scared by the feelings I have for him, and fear something going wrong now.

i think you're just in love! you make sense, so it's more of an unease at play then really missing him. it's the giddy rollercoaster of lurve... the highs...the lows...oooh i'm jealous and getting carried away! anyway you're bound to be anxious about leaving yourself vulnerable to someone again. maidamess is so right to say its good that you can care for someone again. go with it!

if you're worried that he might find your circumstances hard to deal with all you can do is ask him how he feels about it and listen carefully. and if he says it's fine and he still wants to stay in a relationship with you then rejoice! if he can take you all on his feelings must be very real.

We have spoken about it & he has never been put off by my children. He has only met them recently as we didn't want to rush that, but he is very good with children & my eldest son (who has met him more because he is more likely to still be awake when he comes round) really likes him a lot.

It is just that I feel more insecure than I am used to. I worry about things, and not having him around to reassure me makes the worries feel worse.

I went through a very stressful separation & stayed pretty strong, so not used to feeling so pathetic over nothing!

the situation sounds good! are you saying you feel insecure about him? maybe you are just surprised you like him so much, or surprised he likes you? maybe your confidence has taken a knocking after seperation. or is it that you worry bout other things and need him to help you through? maybe you've come to rely on his support and didn't realise it til he was away this week.

No it's not just this week, it has been over a few weeks.
He has given me no reason to feel insecure really though. I just feel a bit worried about things. I worry about things that maybe I shouldn't worry about, but think I am just a bit overwhelmed by how quickly I developed strong feelings for him, and I am frightened of anything going wrong.

Vulnerable is just how I feel atm, MLM!

He can be a little insecure about things too, so maybe it is just the stage we're at in our relationship.

i think so. our hearts are precious and they bruise easily. it's natural to worry. but can i just suggest...if the worst comes to the worst-in any area of life-we just have to cross that bridge then. it is absolutely crazy to worry about things that haven't happened. tho i'm not very good at taking my own advie-i know it's right! i'm a terrible worrier. you said you got through your last breakup. you are strong!! you will never experience love without taking risks and letting yourself be vulnerable. so pat yourself on the back for that. you are breathing, you are feeling, you are living! how cool is that?

I know, MLM, I was just worrying about silly things & yesterday I was tired which makes me much worse for some reason. He has told me I have no worries, so I shouldn't get like this. I feel much better today though, so maybe the tirdness was making me feel extra wobbly last night.

It has only been very recently that I have started to feel all vulnerable, and I think that is because I have developed strong feelings for him, which is something I was frightened of at the very start.

I am normally made of much stronger stuff than this!

By the way, I am not pathetic around him. I am aware that I am coming across really pathetic on here, but I'm not that bad.
Normally I get these thoughts when I'm here alone & I try to keep them to myself as I don't want to come across all pathetic.
He has seen my more vulnerable side, but he sees the stronger side of me far more often.

It sounds quite normal to me to have these feelings after a separation. Please don't worry .

Thanks, BWM. I feel a lot stronger today and have put everything I was thinking back into perspective. I was obviously having a bad couple of hours last night, for some reason.

I only see him at weekends really (he works late shift in the week, and we live in different towns), so it is not that I cannot cope with him being away. I just have moments of feeling a little vulnerable from time to time, and have no idea what is behind it!

glad you're feeling a little better today pc. hope you have a great time with him next weekend apres ski! . enjoy yourself. in a year all the nervous excitement will be gone

Thanks, MLM. I guess you're right about how different things will be a year down the line!

Aw Pinkchampagne,

He sounds really good for you. Enjoy and try not to worry!

Thanks, Citronella. He is good for me. He is the most positive thing that has happened to me in a long time, and I think this is why I am worrying so much about things going wrong.
I am feeling a lot stronger than I did on Sunday night though. For some reason Sunday wasn't a good day for me!