Lucky Escape

[MatteosBaseballCap]

Simple situation. On professional social networking site. Get contacted by a guy out of the blue. We start chatting. Instant attraction. He's bright, funny, well read, loves music. Fireworks. He initiates conversations. Even messages to say hes off on holiday to CI with his wife and 3 kids. We continue chatting. Then he goes cold. He wanted to call me on his return. Were arranging a meet up. I finished with him this evening. Too many mind games and I think he's a serial player. So why do I feel so bloody miserable?

He has a wife and 3 kids?

Yep. That he does.

He was married should run in opposite direction think you were falling for the fantasy not the reality

That's an incredibly valid argument. One I cant disagree with.

Did he happen to go cold whilst he was on holiday with his wife and 3 kids, by any chance?

Perhaps you feel miserable because you chose to have an inappropriate relationship with a married man. Find some self-esteem, raise the bar and be a better person.

You planned to meet him even though he's married?

Yeah, I know. Funny that, isnt it? Would chat in bursts. Then about third day into his hols the comms went cold. I'm an idiot. That's all there is to it.

Again, all valid points.

"Idiot" pretty much covers it. He contacted you out of the blue, how typical. You are nothing more to him than another mug in a looong line of mugs who he charms to get down their pants. You are not special, there was no "connection." Of course he initiated conversation, he wants to shag you. You fell for the oldest con in the books. Smarten up.

He probably saw you as his out of family fantasy, to pass through everyday life with a bit more excitement.
His lack of contact on holiday is a taste of what life is like as a mistress. Pleased you saw the light

Married men who cheat still often want to remain married... I guess he had to be careful to not raise suspicion.

Be thankful you're not his wife, OP. Imagine the turmoil she would feel if she found out her husband was messaging another woman - as disappointed as you might feel right now, it's probably not comparable is it.

Give yourself a head start in the dating game and go for someone single.

Yes, you're absolutely right. Looking at it in a positive light, I get to walk away. His wife doesnt.

Re: his wife, I feel as you do. She's stuck with him. And I absolutely agree 100 percent. If she knew what she was married to, then... I'm wise enough to realise there were more than likely a substantial back catalogue of others. But it's done. Hes gone. And I'm better off in long run.

Absolutely. He'd just come out the other side of what he initially thought was a life threatening condition so I think theres more than a bit of trauma there. The most hilarious line he used, and this will give you a taste of the charmer... "Why wouldnt I want to fuck you? Life is for living"... So, there you go. Aristotle, he aint.

He'd just come out the other side of what he initially thought was a life threatening condition so I think theres more than a bit of trauma there.

It's hilarious that you believe this.

Well, we'll agree to differ on that, shall we?

So, in summary I think it's fair to say the offender/serial love cheat A is a dick, I'm a woman who should know better but clearly doesnt, and therefore needs to get her head out of her arse.
Thank you all. Genuinely. That's not me being snarky. Going to try and get some sleep.
Avoid Bentleys. They're a shit car.

You deserve better, OP. Get yourself out there and find someone decent, which this guy clearly isn't.

Thank you. We live and learn. We really should also learn how to damn the souls of those who displease us but maybe that's for my next life.

Yeah, this is a common and tired old line. Sometimes they even say they’re still ill for the sympathy.

Is it also possible he told you he was married, OP, to try to back out? Either way, not a catch.

Pretty sure the family situation was accurate. Hed even sent me pics from the hotel and the beach and pool. Reverse image verified ( I did check). But, you know, never say never...