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Complicated work vibes

2 replies

SausagesSausagesAndMoreSausages · 09/07/2023 23:15

Looking for some advice please... and thanks in advance

I work as a manager in my local Council. My department is a tiny one, and its basically staffed by just me and a few freelancers.

Since the political changes brought about by the local elections in May, we now have a new, engaged and passionate Councillor for my department on the Council’s cabinet. This guy has been around for a few years, and I vaguely knew him before, but now he’s involved in my work, we’ve spent more time together. We also have mutual friends outside work. It’s a small town and everyone knows each other.

Whenever we meet, we do the sensible, professional thing of talking through the business that we need to, and making plans / decisions etc, but always slip into chatting about personal stuff, relationships, slightly oversharing, spending more time together than we need to, and making each other laugh. We clearly like each other, are at a similar age and stage in our lives (50s, kids just leaving home) and are both single. Actually I REALLY like him - he's hot, clever, funny and we just massively click.

So my dilemma is, where do we go from here? He’s a Councillor, there’s a power imbalance (which doesn’t bother me because he’s a decent man), the Council policy on personal relationships between staff doesn’t cover Councillor / officer relationships but I assume one of us (probably me) would be encouraged to move sideways so I’m not reporting to him.

I wouldn’t be prepared to do this as I absolutely LOVE my job. I’ve been really lucky to have a second career in mid life and I’m not giving it up lightly.

Or maybe we could just keep it secret? Though I don’t think he would want to be devious - see above re. decent man!

The insecure and underconfident bit of me is saying I’m not 100% that he’s romantically / sexually attracted to me, but I have vibes…

Maybe I should be posting in ‘Work’??

Argh😳

OP posts:
Grendell · 09/07/2023 23:24

As long as you report to him, you have to keep him at arm's length. You just do. You could change roles, of course, and see if you still click. You would be able to find out if the chemistry is a situationship or not. A lot of these work-place attractions depend completely on proximity, you know, and as soon as one person leaves, it fizzles. But you like your job, so I vote for limiting the personal chit-chat and keeping him at arm's length.

SausagesSausagesAndMoreSausages · 09/07/2023 23:36

Thank you Grendell, I know you’re speaking sense

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