Crying over a movie

[BettyBlueCheese]

I'm a little confused. Watching a movie with my partner. I found it sad and got emotional over it.
I then got questioned over it and why I found it sad.
I then got accused of not sharing and being closed off when I said that it was a sad movie and made me cry and that was the reason.
It's like I have to have a deeper reason and I don't so then I'm closed off and not sharing.

Maybe the question is why didn’t they feel the film was sad?
I mean, if I cry at a film DH will just call me a big softie, but he can tell the story is sad and knows why it affected me. Why can’t your partner understand that the plot was sad and that made you cry? Very odd.

He sounds a bit emotionally stunted. Or just thoughtless. What was the movie?

It was The Whale
I think he found it sad but he wanted to know why I found it sad and my explanation of its a sad movie was not deep enough and it was like he was trying to dissect my feelings

He's an idiot. You don't need to explain. He sounds irritated that you got emotional. Weird.

Life is too short to spend it with a fucking cock like this. Ltb.

What's he like the rest of the time? Does he put you down or criticise you a lot?

I never cry at films that are perceived to be sad. It needs to have a personal connection. I cried yesterday at the final Indiana Jones film . As a family we have been watching those films since the 1980s first with children then grandchildren too. It’s the end of an era .

I love a good cry. DH can be as bad as me sometimes. The final episode of After Life had us both blubbing.
Music has the same effect. I quite often cry during concerts.

@BettyBlueCheese

Your partner sounds like hard work. Demanding to know why you are getting emotional over a movie, and then saying you are closed off to them, and 'not sharing' because you didn't know why the movie made you cry. Fucking hell. Never marry - or have children with this man. You will be walking on eggshells forever..........

Weird.
I've never seen the whale, but doesn't he understand that one of the main purposes of various art forms is catharsis - sad films are designed to make you feel sad and maybe cry. Does he ask why you laugh at a comedy?

Is there anything else a bit off about him or the relationship because this alone doesn't sound bad. Trying to dissect your feelings isn't necessarily a bad thing, and in fact loads of people wish their partners would try to understand them better.
But I do also understand why it would be annoying to not have your response accepted and someone trying to tell you there must be more to your response.

Either he's psychopath or similar and geuninely doesn't understand empathy...or he's another type of abuser who is fucking with your head. Its standard for them to get you in a merry go round of 'prove your honedty/loyalty/innocence/openness/trust/goodness' etc...

Either way, run.
Seriously. Fast and far.
Don't get stuck on the prove yourself abuse merry go round.

Any chance there could be a positive spin on his enquiries? It depends what he is like as a person and whether he is in touch with his emotions or not.
If he is in touch, he'd expect that you would be the same, so would know and be able to express why the movie was sad. If he's not in touch, he may have been asking in the hope you could explain to him why.
Or he could just want to understand you better, but is finding out that maybe you don't analyse your feelings like he does, you just have them and that's enough for you - but really it can be good to analyse and understand, that's how you learn and process.
I dont think there is proof that he is that a bad guy particularly by what he has said, maybe badly expressing disappointment at not getting a deep conversion going as it could be his thing. Sounds like you are very different at processing emotions. There is no good or bad, just different ways of being maybe?

You can't watch the whale and not understand WHY it's sad though.

You might not feel particularly upset by it. Some sad movies touch some individuals more than other sad movies.

But no, it's not necessary to explain WHY the whale is sad, to anyone who has watched it.

We have a tendency to over excuse people when they display obviously abnormal behaviour. Grilling someone on WHY they find a sad film sad, to the point where they upset the person, is obviously abnormal behaviour. Why would someone do such a thing, the most logical reason - is because they're a cunt.

This guy isn't querying in order to understand op better, he's interrogating her in order to make her feel like shit.

Zombie thread... I was just about to make almost exactly the same comment as I did in June.😂