Friendships

[ChristinaB1203]

Does anyone else struggle with making friends. I have a lovely life, married, 1 beautiful 2 year old boy and a great job. But I just don't seem to have any great friendship. I'd just like some friends to hang out with and go on play dates with. Am I alone? Is there something wrong me?

You're certainly not alone. There are plenty of threads on here that are similar to yours. Some people have lots of friends, some have a few and others have none. There's nothing wrong with having friends or not. Be kind to yourself, friendships take time to build and you need to put yourself out there.

You are definitely not alone. I don’t have a single friend to go out and socialise with. I have people at work I speak to but they are based all over the UK and are definitely just work friends. I don’t have kids but do have a partner and he’s great but I do miss having a woman’s input and having someone to go and grab a meal or a drink with. I’d say I haven’t had a ‘proper’ friend in about a decade now.

Wanting a mummy friend who has a child the dane age as your child is not really wanting a friend, it's wanting someone else in a similar situation as you at the moment. It's like a gap filler.

As you get older I find it becomes more difficult to make friends. Theres not that history and legacy there as there is with friendships you maintained from school or your early career. And remember, friends can be overrated. When shit comes calling, you find the people who stand by your side and support you no matter what. Those are real friends. Try not to stress about the situation. Friends, as with everything else good in life, often turn up when you're not looking for it

Honestly think yourself lucky, it's just drama ime

No. You're not BU. I met my best friends at the nursery school gate. A lot of us had younger ones too so had coffee mornings and trips to the park etc.

But you need to be available to meet them and if you are working full time it will be difficult.

If your DC is at nursery, try to find out who he plays with and see if the parents are up for a short trip to the park on the Sunday. The DC will love to see eachother in a new place and you can get coffee and get to know each other. It's fairy footsteps at first but the friendships can grow over time.

If you do school drop offs when DC goes to school, there is potential to do the same thing there. Some people hate it but I loved it. The key thing is to put yourself out there and not expect people to come to you. Nice if they do, but you need to make the effort.

Friend met lots through her drama group. My circle small max 4. Alot changes in my 50s as kids are grown up so you dont see the mams so find you have to make the effort too or 6 mths can pass. I met a school mam sat

Are you sure you're really missing anything? I think most "friendships" are superficial and tenuous at best. I think if you have one true friend, my husband in my case, count yourself very, very lucky.