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Original poster

Am I in the wrong

11 replies

Greenqueenofbean · 09/07/2023 19:55

I got told to go to hospital as I was having palpitations and Dr said I needed an ECG after being there for 6 hours my husband brought me some food. Problem is when I got home I saw the food he used was infested with fruitfly larvea. I heaved and was saying omg it's infested I feel sick, he said he didn't realise and he was rushing about. I said omg did you not look at it. To which he replied are you in a mood and I said kind of yes I've probably got a bad stomach now, that was that and I joked in the same breath, I can't believe you fed me that and I even laughed.
Skip ahead 3 days and I'm ill in bed (something I picked up from hospital, sore throat and tired) and I asked him if he could make me a sandwich, to which he blew his top and started shouting about how I was complaining and moaning about the last sandwich he made.... (the one with the larvea) I said,' what why are you saying that, of course I was upset, you fed me infested food.'

So Im I'll in bed, hungry and he starts an argument over me being upset about my maggot ridden food.
I just can't work out why he reacted like that. I wasn't even that mad when I got home and realised what I had unknowingly eaten.

Its not the first time. He always drags up stuff. Im not the kind of person who goes off over nothing, I'm laid back and chill, but if I have (what I think was a very reasonable reaction) he will go on and on about it.

I can't be bothered with this anymore.

OP posts:
Eva6437 · 10/07/2023 04:35

I hope your ECG and heart palpitations are ok and that your results were fine.

Ofcourse anyone would be disgusted for having flu infested food, but have you thought that maybe DH was probably worried about you and wanted to get to you ASAP.
Also, the fact that you were at the hospital for 6 hours doesn’t really seem relevant, most hospitals have canteens / little stores or the very least- vending machines, so if you were hungry you could have bought yourself food to snack on. Most ECGs do not require patients to fast before hand.

Your DH did something nice for you and then you played the blame game and seemed to be ungrateful- do you think he would have deliberately given you infested food?
Now You have a sore throat and tired…. Go and make your own food!! They’re hardly symptoms making you bed bound!

I honestly think you’re being a bit of a princess about it all, so yes I believe you are in the wrong this time

Original poster
Greenqueenofbean · 10/07/2023 14:16

The food wasn't flu infested it was maggot infested.
I did not have the means to buy food I had no money.
I appreciate the fact he brought me the food, I was very grateful.
It was when I got home noticed the maggots and got upset. I was laughing about it 5 min after the shock.
I am disabled and my mobility is poor, the viral symptoms I have, have made me more weak than usual, hence why I asked for a sandwich.
I am not being a princess.

OP posts:
Aprilx · 10/07/2023 14:28

I am rather perplexed. How did you only realise your food was maggot infested when you got home and not whilst you were eating it. And how on earth does food get maggot infested in the first place? I have literally never come across this.

Pinkbonbon · 10/07/2023 14:34

Some people can't handle their partners being ill because they always want the attention to be on them.

Does he have form for pettiness?
Or things like, always suddenly wanting your attention/creating issues when you are busy with something important (eg: preparing for an interview or already out with friends).

ComtesseDeSpair · 10/07/2023 15:02

It sounds like you have quite a few health issues and need - or think you need - a lot of looking after. That can have a real impact on the dynamic of a relationship, you become less partners and more carer and patient. It’s no doubt having an impact on your OH, particularly if he then feels - whether it’s the case or not - as though you’re complaining about the things he does. Have you had any relationship counselling around this, and how to each communicate your needs more effectively?

Original poster
Greenqueenofbean · 10/07/2023 15:07

I was ravenous and literally ate really quickly, I was putting away the stuff he left out and I spotted what looked like rice on the lid of pickles... It was maggots (fruitful ones) there was a gap in the jar at some point and they had made their way inside and was living inside it. Must have been like that for a while because it was well established and the pickles had got mould 🤢

OP posts:
Original poster
Greenqueenofbean · 10/07/2023 15:08

Not all the time but a lot of the time yes.

OP posts:
Original poster
Greenqueenofbean · 10/07/2023 15:09

ComtesseDeSpair · 10/07/2023 15:02

It sounds like you have quite a few health issues and need - or think you need - a lot of looking after. That can have a real impact on the dynamic of a relationship, you become less partners and more carer and patient. It’s no doubt having an impact on your OH, particularly if he then feels - whether it’s the case or not - as though you’re complaining about the things he does. Have you had any relationship counselling around this, and how to each communicate your needs more effectively?

I think you might have hit the nail on the head here.

OP posts:
Whataretalkingabout · 10/07/2023 15:24

Some people refuse to be understanding when you have a legitimate gripe.
I hear you OP, and would be furious and highly disappointed with my DP that he couldn't be bothered with being food-safe for his own DP who is already in hospital!
Getting angry with you because you complained is controlling and manipulative. Sounds like you need to express your needs more proactively. But some people cannot tolerate any criticism no matter how politely we express ourselves.

I hope you were not ill. Make your DP a nice big maggot and pickle sandwich to make up for it and see how HE reacts! ;)

Original poster
Greenqueenofbean · 10/07/2023 16:27

Whataretalkingabout · 10/07/2023 15:24

Some people refuse to be understanding when you have a legitimate gripe.
I hear you OP, and would be furious and highly disappointed with my DP that he couldn't be bothered with being food-safe for his own DP who is already in hospital!
Getting angry with you because you complained is controlling and manipulative. Sounds like you need to express your needs more proactively. But some people cannot tolerate any criticism no matter how politely we express ourselves.

I hope you were not ill. Make your DP a nice big maggot and pickle sandwich to make up for it and see how HE reacts! ;)

Thank you for being kind and understanding 🙂
And that sandwich sounds very tempting 😂🤣

OP posts:
Eva6437 · 10/07/2023 21:54

Greenqueenofbean · 10/07/2023 14:16

The food wasn't flu infested it was maggot infested.
I did not have the means to buy food I had no money.
I appreciate the fact he brought me the food, I was very grateful.
It was when I got home noticed the maggots and got upset. I was laughing about it 5 min after the shock.
I am disabled and my mobility is poor, the viral symptoms I have, have made me more weak than usual, hence why I asked for a sandwich.
I am not being a princess.

Typo, it was supposed to read fly

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