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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Should I ask this guy out?

17 replies

LauK123 · 09/07/2023 14:13

Hi everyone. I met a guy at university 6 years ago. We got on well but nothing ever happened. About 9 months ago, he got back in contact and we went out for coffee. From then on, we saw each other every two weeks and he's supported me through quite a hard health problem.
The problem I have is, I want to take things further but don't know if he likes me. He has ASD. I don't know if that makes a difference. I'm wondering whether I should just ask him if he wants to take things further? I just want to know to be honest but I'm worried I'll ruin our friendship. Thanks

OP posts:
Goldfoot · 09/07/2023 14:16

I'm in a similar situation. At some point I shall have to just ask "what if?"

Pinkbonbon · 09/07/2023 14:18

'Hey Tim, I really enjoy your company. I was wondering, would you ever like to go out on a date? I mean, no worries if not, I like being friends. I just wondered if there could be something more there?'

Original poster
LauK123 · 09/07/2023 14:20

Pinkbonbon · 09/07/2023 14:18

'Hey Tim, I really enjoy your company. I was wondering, would you ever like to go out on a date? I mean, no worries if not, I like being friends. I just wondered if there could be something more there?'

Thanks. That's really helpful 🙂.

OP posts:
Allelbowsandtoes · 09/07/2023 14:52

Pinkbonbon · 09/07/2023 14:18

'Hey Tim, I really enjoy your company. I was wondering, would you ever like to go out on a date? I mean, no worries if not, I like being friends. I just wondered if there could be something more there?'

Yeah, just message him something like this and see what happens. Good luck!

Wheredoistart78 · 09/07/2023 16:25

I was crazy about a colleague but there was sure signs he liked me too.

We've been seeing each other for 19 months now and it's bliss.

He text me to say I'm a beautiful person and he loved me to bits.

I couldn't be happier, he is wonderful and I love him.

Bite the bullet op, life is too short.

Original poster
LauK123 · 09/07/2023 16:58

Thanks everyone. I will update this thread when I've asked him

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 09/07/2023 17:06

Good luck!

loveacuddle1 · 09/07/2023 23:14

And please update us!
I love posts like this 🙌

Original poster
LauK123 · 12/07/2023 09:39

He said no but I'm glad I asked. At least I know now. Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:
loveacuddle1 · 12/07/2023 22:04

Ahh well done OP
you should be proud of yourself for biting the bullet!

Thisisworsethananticpated · 12/07/2023 22:15

ah
nothing ventured i guess
hope your feeling ok about it x

LadyLolaRuben · 12/07/2023 22:30

Well done for asking. Its good to know where things stand. You're not left wondering now

whatwouldAnnaDelveydo · 13/07/2023 14:06

Well done. Be proud of yourself (it sounds patronising but I don't mean it like that)

Original poster
LauK123 · 13/07/2023 14:23

Thanks for all the messages. I am disappointed but I'm glad I asked and know for sure now rather than wondering.

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 13/07/2023 14:31

It sucks but...having done something brave recently and falling on my arse too I've been thinking of it like this- how often do we get chances in life to be really bold? You did something scary and sure, it didn't work out. But you learned about yourself in the process that you can be brave. That you're not afraid to try for what you want. And that's pretty cool.

It's all just character development really, life.

AtomicBlondeRose · 13/07/2023 15:08

You know what, in some ways that's great. You know now he's a true friend and not hanging around hoping to get into your pants. And he respects you enough to be honest and not just fall into a relationship he doesn't want (not everyone is like this!).

GreyCarpet · 13/07/2023 17:45

AtomicBlondeRose · 13/07/2023 15:08

You know what, in some ways that's great. You know now he's a true friend and not hanging around hoping to get into your pants. And he respects you enough to be honest and not just fall into a relationship he doesn't want (not everyone is like this!).

This!

Well done for being brave and asking. The older I get, the less I think it's embarrassing to ask someone put and the more I think it's a compliment to them that you're someone they would date. Whatever the outcome.

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