Gut feeling on cheating ?

[Finchy12]

Where to begin,

I've been married to an Eastern European for eight years, and we have two kids together.

We intend to immigrate to Slovakia in the upcoming months.

When she stayed in Slovakia on our fifth wedding anniversary, we had some issues. She went out with a different man and her girlfriends. She admittedly messaged me several images in an effort to make me feel envious.
Before she arrived home, she deleted all of the images and messages from this man, assuring her that nothing had happened. She said that she was attempting to grab my attention because I was working a lot at the time and saving for our first home.

Fast foward few years.
She seemed to be overly sociable with males, yet I still trusted her.

She just travelled to Slovakia with our oldest so to make school arrangements.
I was led to believe that she ran into some old acquaintances at a school open day and was invited on a night out that evening.
She misled me when she said it was a spontaneous meeting, in fact, she had scheduled it via Facebook.

The day before, our family's 11-year-old dog had passed away, and I was inconsolable.

She left despite my desire that she stay in.

I felt strange about it because this night out seemed to take precedence over everything else.

I looked through her phone, I discovered deleted images of her with another man.
And it appeared that she was mainly reacting to him in the group chat conversations.

I didn't question her for five years, but I have the gut feeling she is unfaithful.
Which I can’t shake and it’s really affecting our marriage.

No matter how absurd it sounds, she has a habit of rationalising her actions, which can occasionally involve gaslighting.

Just be honest with me about your thoughts on the matter.

Kind regards
A

You should have confronted her straight away as five years down the line she may think it’s out of the blue or may even say she doesn’t remember.

has anything more recent happened to make you believe she is being unfaithful?

I spent 3.5 yrs with a Lithuanian woman. I too was gaslighted, and deprioritised, the rationalising of poor behaviour, and deliberate use of other men to make me jealous. The relationship was overtly sexual and controlling.
In the end, her affair/fling came to light, she actually thought it was funny and I deserved it.
I'm glad I'm out of it tbh. I'm not sure how much is a cultural difference or individual behaviour.

Do I think your partner has had an affair on the balance of probabilities
YES.

Hi,
sorry if it’s not clear, we spoke about the issue 5 years ago, I’m more recent weeks, I explained a similar situation has happened.

I think she's cheated and or is cheating.

Can I ask why being Eastern European is in any way relevant here? It's bizarre that @Harrypewter is even entertaining the thought that cheating and bad behaviour could be a "cultural" thing. Also not sure why nationality or "Eastern Europeanness" was relevant to the OP?

Because the op mentioned it.👍👌

@Harrypewter and you jumped on the opportunity to generalize between two different cultures just because they belong to a similar geographic region? And imply that they share a culture of unfaithfulness?

And for what it's worth, Slovakia is technically Central Europe!

Okay, so we're straight into generalizing and demonizing a massive part of Europe comprising many different cultures and languages - but I guess I am just an insecure Eastern European woman who will doubtless cheat on her kind, faithful, perfect British partner!

@Carrotcake93 could you kindly let me know what these insecurities are that I apparently have?

I hate having to justify myself and I'm sure someone will be along to tell me I'm an exception and/or showing off, but fuck, saying our goal is to marry and remain beautiful and submissive!? Have you ever MET an Eastern European woman?

Guys,
it was only relevant due to the fact we are relocating. I don’t some how think her culture is to blame.

And yes you could say middle Europe.

This is not where I saw this question going.

Don't take it personally, I don't know what your insecurity is. Like I said, I hate to generalize. And yes, I have met people from Eastern Europe. My father's girlfriend, for example. She is an incredible lady in many aspects and I don't think she cheats, but it is true that she likes to find a way to make my father jealous, besides being very jealous herself and using my sister to get information about my mother and etc. . I have also had many female friends since childhood and find them quite competitive in general when it comes to a man nearby. Others at work who literally don't want other women around but are very receptive to men. And everything I say about being brought up this way has come from the mouth of a woman from the East, but again, it's my own experience.