How to support my partner with depression?

[AllBiscuitsFan]

My partner is suffering from depression. He voiced this morning that sometimes he thinks and feels people would be better off if he wasn't here.

Please can people with experience in either having depression or supporting a loved one give me advice on how best to help?

I know there is no quick fix and this will be a long journey. I don't want to get it wrong. I need to be the strong one who has some idea on what to do next.

What are the right things to be doing? And the things to AVOID!

Thank you.

He needs to speak to the GP pretty urgently if he’s having thoughts like that.
I’m sorry, I can’t really really offer any advice but I hope things improve soon.

https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/

Must be a massive worry for you.
Try Qwell. It’s an online mental health organisation.
Definitely go the GP too.

You need to know if he is suicidal or having suicidal ideation. I know this used to be considered the worst thing to do, but recent studies have shown if anything that open, non judgmental conversations around suicide reduce the risk of the person committing suicide https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helping-someone-else/supporting-someone-who-feels-suicidal/talking-about-suicidal-feelings/
I would encourage him to see his GP and offer to be there as his advocate if he thinks that will help. If he is suicidal your GP may be able to help him make a safety plan or refer to a crisis service. He needs a referral for therapy, but this can take time, it could be beneficial for him to discuss medication with his GP. This is all presupposed on him being willing to seek help and engage with that help. If he won't you can be there to listen, you can gently encourage him to get help.

No matter what happens, keep a bit of life for yourself. It's so easy to be dragged under by someone who is depressed.

First, though, he needs medical care.

You don't have the medical expertise to support him alone, and shouldn't have this on your shoulders, not when he's saying people would be better off without him. That's serious, please take the advice above offered, that's the best way forward, don't struggle by yourself.

do you and he have family and friends to confide in, use your networks as much as possible.

take care of yourself, trying to eat and regular sleep/rest, time out from that very oppressive situation - don't forget that you need self-care to be able to be strong for him.

Medical help for sure and if he won't go then take some advice yourself on how best to proceed. If the case is too bad then some time in a facility to help people with these issues would help him .

As others have said you also need to take care of yourself - you are effectively a carer and it is a heavy burden

I wish you all the best and for a successful outcome

He tried to seek medical support from a GP years ago and he was more or less laughed at because he was young. This was at a time when mental health was unfortunately overlooked/missed by GPs. Because of this experience, he hasn't been to the doctor for....14 years!

We have plans to spend the day out today, so tomorrow whilst he is at work (I am on maternity leave) I am going to research and contact various support organisations and see what I can do.

Thank you all for your help, I really do appreciate it.

Has he been diagnosed?
by who?
He needs medical diagnosis and discussion about taking meds , and therapy.
You can read up eg MIND, matt haig books , read up on depression Fallout (you cannot fix him ) but Speak to your health visitor
And family and friends for support
Don't hide it even if he asks you to

The most important thing is get him to gp, get him diagnosed, get him to access medical help. It is not a thing you can cure yourself. You cannot fix this, if he is mentally ill he needs professional help. A and e if actively suicidal.
If you have a small baby to look after then consider who will take care of baby if you decide you need to be with him at appointments etc.

Tomorrow march him to gp not work.
If his work has occupational health or access to employee counselling he can contact them .
Look up support for you for sure, but he needs to get diagnosed and he needs to see gp.
So focus on get him to gp and diagnosed. gp s do a depression questionnaire etc and can refer on .

Unfortunately in many areas waiting lists for a huge two therapy sessions can be upto 18 months long. Do you have any form of private medical cover at all?