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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What do you think to this

15 replies

littlebopeepp234 · 08/07/2023 22:23

So I met a guy on OLD a few weeks ago. We have had one date so far. All went well, however his messages seem to have got less and less.

He messaged me a few days ago but the conversation was all about him, he didn’t ask me how I was or anything. I messaged him yesterday to ask how he was, he read the message and has not replied.

Part of me feels that we have only had one date so I shouldn’t be expecting constant messaging but another part of me feels it is extremely rude not to reply to a question asking how HE was. Would you just cut your losses and move on or leave it a bit longer and see if he gets in touch?

OP posts:
amiold · 08/07/2023 22:27

He's lost interest. Delete his number and the chat so you can't be tempted to text him. If he messages again the balls in your court if you decide to continue but if not, you won't make an arse of yourself double texting

littlebopeepp234 · 08/07/2023 22:29

amiold · 08/07/2023 22:27

He's lost interest. Delete his number and the chat so you can't be tempted to text him. If he messages again the balls in your court if you decide to continue but if not, you won't make an arse of yourself double texting

Thank you. Glad it’s not just me who thinks this. I was thinking more along the lines of blocking but not sure if it was a bit extreme

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icelollycraving · 08/07/2023 22:31

OLD needs a thick skin. It moves fast. If you haven’t had another date in weeks, you aren’t likely to. Delete and on to the next.

FireflyJar · 08/07/2023 22:32

NEXT!

littlebopeepp234 · 08/07/2023 22:33

icelollycraving · 08/07/2023 22:31

OLD needs a thick skin. It moves fast. If you haven’t had another date in weeks, you aren’t likely to. Delete and on to the next.

We did arrange another date but I had to cancel for valid reasons which he was ok with and we have chatted since then. He has gone away to stay with his family for a few days so was wondering if he was busy and just not looked at his messages but I can see he’s been online since I messaged so it’s not like he has no signal over there

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amiold · 08/07/2023 22:37

I wouldn't block because it could come across as petty or rattled. Essentially you've blocked him your end if you can't contact him. If he does reply later and you're no longer interested, leave on read and delete again or just tell him you're not interested

MrsElsa · 08/07/2023 22:39

So you had 1 date, it went well enough you agreed a 2nd date, but you cancelled it. Did you re arrange it? If not he probably thinks you aren't interested because you cancelled and didn't rearrange. So rearrange the date. Stop twatting around messaging. Any relationship you have will be IRL not via txt

littlebopeepp234 · 08/07/2023 22:39

amiold · 08/07/2023 22:37

I wouldn't block because it could come across as petty or rattled. Essentially you've blocked him your end if you can't contact him. If he does reply later and you're no longer interested, leave on read and delete again or just tell him you're not interested

Yes this is a good idea. I have stopped myself from blocking for this reason, that it will look petty and extreme and make him think I care too much.

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littlebopeepp234 · 08/07/2023 22:40

MrsElsa · 08/07/2023 22:39

So you had 1 date, it went well enough you agreed a 2nd date, but you cancelled it. Did you re arrange it? If not he probably thinks you aren't interested because you cancelled and didn't rearrange. So rearrange the date. Stop twatting around messaging. Any relationship you have will be IRL not via txt

We agreed to rearrange when he got back from visiting his family so no date was arranged just that we said we would meet again and we would arrange all when he got back

OP posts:
Deargodletitgo · 08/07/2023 22:44

No, he's not bothered I'm afraid. Stop messaging, find someone else.

littlebopeepp234 · 08/07/2023 23:02

Deargodletitgo · 08/07/2023 22:44

No, he's not bothered I'm afraid. Stop messaging, find someone else.

Yes I think you are right

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P1ckledonionz · 08/07/2023 23:14

the conversation was all about him, he didn’t ask me how I was or anything.

Is this the kind of one-way dynamic you're looking for?

Move on.

littlebopeepp234 · 09/07/2023 08:26

P1ckledonionz · 08/07/2023 23:14

the conversation was all about him, he didn’t ask me how I was or anything.

Is this the kind of one-way dynamic you're looking for?

Move on.

Definitely not the one way dynamic I’m looking for.

OP posts:
JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 09/07/2023 08:52

Just stop texting... you don't need to block or do anything dramatic, just forget about it and move on.

Having said that.. He did say he'll arrange something when he gets back from family visit so that's probably what he'll do. It's up to you if you want to see him then or not. By the sounds of it you expect lots of contact between dates, he doesn't. So you're most likely not compatible.

littlebopeepp234 · 09/07/2023 09:38

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 09/07/2023 08:52

Just stop texting... you don't need to block or do anything dramatic, just forget about it and move on.

Having said that.. He did say he'll arrange something when he gets back from family visit so that's probably what he'll do. It's up to you if you want to see him then or not. By the sounds of it you expect lots of contact between dates, he doesn't. So you're most likely not compatible.

It’s not that I expect lots of contact. What threw me was that I messaged him to ask how he was and he read the message but has never replied.

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