I've been married to my husband for over 10 years and have 3 kids. Recently things have got stale and all our time goes on the kids, we both work fulltime, sorting out the house and basic self-care.
We rarely have time one to one and haven't been intimate in over a year. Over the last few months, whenever I disagree with my husband he talks over me and says I'm not listening to him and just don't understand.
Last night he was running through some house improvement plans while I was trying to get the kids ready for bed. He wanted to do less work and I said the room would be too small, but I would listen to what he said. He then said there was no point in talking to me as I wasn't listening and kept walking off all the time. I said I was listening, looked at him and the plans and he went off in a huff saying I wasn't listening and didn't want to do it anyways. At work I spend most of my time analysing problems and balancing cost and value to the business so I tend to take the same approach with house improvements.
The problem is we can't have a conversation about finances or home improvements without it ending in an argument. When I listen to him and give my opinion he doesn't like opinion. When I try and give my opinion he says I don't understand. We are both under a lot of stress at work but at the moment the relationship feels like an uphill struggle.
We get on well day to day as friends and agree in terms of giving the kids everything they need to grow up well. I wouldn't want to break up now as I don't think it would be good for the kids. He has another child from a previous relationship and his son is still angry about dh and his mum separating. Is it possible to save the relationship? If not it feels like once the kids are grown we will drift apart and inevitably break up.